bicarapantai

The Summer that was

2011-09-25T21:04:00.001-05:00

That was a brutal summer, temperature wise. I have been here for over 12 years, and this is the first summer that we had so many 100 plus degrees ever. The garden suffered, the fruit trees did not bear any fruits, the big trees just turn brown. We have to wait till next spring to see if they can recover.

The Ramadan was smack right in the middle of the driest and hottest summer ever. Praise be to Allah, I could finish my fasting with only one day off due to heat. Even though the weather was kind of brutal, but it has a silver lining to it. It was so hot and dry that i stayed in door all day and finished reading the Quran. (Recite and read the translation) in the month of Ramadan.

This Ramadan

2011-08-25T17:37:00.003-05:00

There isn't much difference this Ramadan than the previous ones except for the unbelievably very hot summer we are experiencing. Praise be to Allah, everything goes fine with our fasting with a little of adjustments. Have all work done early and be in the house by 9 in the morning. By 11 am the temperature shoots up to 100 F and above.

Unlike most muslims, who make a lot of preparations physically and mentally, we just do what we do everyday. Eat the same food like we eat everyday. The only difference is spiritually we increase our effort. Since I can't go out after 10 am due to the excessive heat, I do my solat dhuha and read the quran. Alhamdulillah, so far I have not missed my tarawih too.

Food wise, there isn't much to prepare, we eat our regular breakfast during iftar and only later eat whatever dishes we usually prepare for our dinner. Simple food.

I feel great that we can suppress our nafsu, especially the food.

Keeping healthy in paradise.

2011-07-22T14:51:00.005-05:00

At 118lbs.

Being obese and not healthy in "my paradise" is not a very good idea. I want to look good, feel good and being able to be agile as well. I want to be able to run along the streams, walk in the woods, run with the deer, fly with the birds as well.

I was thinking of me looking like Julia Roberts or Mila Kunis or the one who married Ashton Kutcher. Not in looks (reads pretty) but in size. In reality I still can, only if I want to change my mind set and work at it.

Feeling resigned to live in my body and shape is not good enough. I have spent years comforting myself and pretending that I was just fine at my age by being a little plumb. After all I was in my late fifties (58). In actual fact I was miserable, acting up comfortable when I was not.

Reality hit hard. I could not look at myself in the long mirror any more. I was devastated at the sight. How could I let myself be at 155lbs or 70kg. in a matter of only a dozen years. The weight was creeping like the morning glory in the early spring.

Something had to be done, something that I can handle with little effort. I read the weight watchers, I read on most of all the getting skinnier diets, the Jenny Craig and the likes but I decided that I have my own way of doing things. Those programs mostly stressed on the food, making it those people who really wanted to lose weight are actually looking at the food.

Those kind of diets are not going to work when one goes into it for the food they are going to eat. Another kind of diet is the starving kind, making you hungry and is not sustainable by weak willed people.

There must be something good in those kind of losing weights and being healthy, otherwise they are not in the market anymore.

The combination of food and a little movement in our bodies will help us lose some weights and let us maintain our size.

I started with small steps. I looked at what i ate. I do away with those non essential that my body do not need in excessive. No teh tarik with condensed milk. I know I can survive without it for a while. I drink tea instead with creamer. Later I just drink black tea with no sugar.
I do away with deep frying, instead I grilled or baked my food, they taste good too. I cooked my curry with little oil or substitute the cooking style like the Indian curry with no coconut milk.
I tried to find a way to substitute using oil in my cooking.

I read that polished white rice is 98% starch, so I figure if I do not eat polished rice, I can cut off some of the scary carbohydrate. I tried brown rice occasionally, eating more protein and less and less unhealthy carbohydrates. I ate on one plate, no second helping. Make sure it has a balanced food spread. Divide my plate into 4 segments, the biggest segment is the vegetables, then the protein, then the smallest portion is the carb. Turn my plate into a pretty presentation like the one those famous chef do at those pricy restaurants.

With this new eating habit, I find that I lost 8 lbs in the first week. Then I started on my walk because i do not want to be flabby. It was hard completing a km on the first try. My legs and body ached everywhere, but i was determined to progress in my walking. By the fourth week I was walking 3 km a day. My spirit was high as my weight was coming down rather quickly.

By the the 8th week I was down to 135lbs. My plan was to go down to 135 lbs only, but as I was losing weight with no extra effort, i just continued doing what I was doing, adding my time to 2 hours walking daily which is equivalent to 5 miles or 8 km. By 16 weeks i was already down to 125 lbs and I was losing weight at 2 lbs a week. I am at my ideal weight of between 117-119 lbs now and maintaining it is no problem. I have been at this weight for a few months now. I am eating normally and still walk everyday although not a regular 5 miles. Sometimes I walk 3 miles, sometime 4 or 5.

If I can do it, I am sure many can do too.

Am I living in paradise?

2011-06-05T13:22:00.001-05:00

I think I am living in a paradise. I have my walks in a wooded part of the property filled with beautiful, colorful flowers dancing in the cool breeze. I listen to happy birds and critters enjoying their spring time. Birds sing and chirps, Locusts sing for their partners and squirrels bark when startled.

Occasionally I run across a possum or a raccoon or an armadillo and even a red fox being late for home. An owl or two being caught by the early sun looking down from a dead tree branch.

Squirrels chasing each other playing around or mating in my yard everyday. Red hawks flying high and diving down on prey are sights I enjoy watching. Baby rabbits running for cover when disturbed, parents of Blue jays encouraging their babies out of the nest and trying to fly. Little humming birds fighting over the sugar water feeder in the evening, these are all my favorite things to observe and watch.

Springtime again

2011-05-16T16:51:00.003-05:00

My last entry was in mid winter and I have been lazy to update my blog. There isn't any interesting thing to write and blogging seems to take the back seat from Face book.

Since last year after thanksgiving, I have been keeping busy taking care of my weight. It came to a point that I was not happy to look in the mirror. I was depresssed that I let myself to be so fat and weighing at 155lbs, equivalent to 70kg. I have never been that fat in my life. That was upsetting me and it seemed that the more I became depressed, I ate more. My husband tried to cheer me up and buying me the wiifit etc. but it did not work.

When a friend told me that she needed to get a personal trainer to lose weight and pants sizes, I felt that it was like a challenge that I should not miss. Quietly I took a look of what reasonable thing to do so as to keep up with her regular trips to the gym. I started to walk up and down my driveway. It was hard to make a mile in the first few days. It was winter and it was easier minus the heat.

The walk became easier each day and I could walk for longer time and distance. My husband then made a track in our back woods and measure the distance correctly so that I know how far I walk each day. He bought a pedometer and health-o-meter as an encouragement. Eight weeks into this regime and good eating habit, i lost some lbs. I lost 8 lbs in the first week and gradually lose a couple of lbs each week subsequently. Now 5 months later I weigh 121lbs or 55 kg.

I love it now eventhough I have to get a new set of clothing. I have to pack up all my jeans sizes 6-12. gave away some of sizes 10 and 12. I am now wearing sizes 4 and 2 jeans.

I do not go on strict diet, but I learn how to eat smart. I do not eat at fast food and eat very little processed foods. I prefer bake than fry food. I love potatoes and instead of eating fries (which is fried and greasy) i eat baked potato or oven fried potatoes than deep fried. I eat whole grain or brown rice pasta instead of polished white rice. I eat chicken minus the skin and importantly I make carbs as side dish.

Now I am giving myself a pat on my back for keeping up with my routine. I now walk 5 miles or 8km a day.

Winter sunrise.

2011-02-03T14:16:00.003-06:00

One morning I saw this sunrise and ran to get my camera

Winter is still here

2011-02-03T13:59:00.003-06:00

We had some 12 inches of snow and a few feet of drift. Only the front end loader on a backhoe is the answer. No shovel or snow blower can do the job.

It snows and it will some more before the season is over.

2011-01-09T17:37:00.004-06:00

Every year it snows and the same happens this year 2011. Every year I count my blessings. I am healthy, I am happy and I have been given years of living healthy . Everyday is a bonus blessing when I wake up to see the great God's creation around me.

I hope to make this year my health conscious year. I have started to take a serious look into my health since the end of last year. I have progressed quite a bit. I thought that I would not be able to run and walk for 5 miles, but I have so far conquered that distance. I had been walking 5 miles a day for almost a month now and it has become easier each day. I have started to jog for a couple of miles and walked the rest of the 5 miles. I also have added some exercises to my daily routine. I enjoy walking in the cold crisp air at times stop to watch the deer in the woods or stop at the frozen pond to throw a few rocks and watch it bounce. Or i walk with Max my big puppy and let him have fun. He would run all over the woods and always come back to check on me. He must have wondered why I do not move as fast as he is or why i walk so slow compared to him.

Walking in cold temperatures beats the cabin like feeling staying in the house during cold winter days. Staying inside the house too much makes me feel trapped and thus I would be munching food and watch TV or movies. I am glad that my husband cleared the path in the woods and measured the distance for me to walk/jog.

It is not too late

2010-12-03T19:00:00.002-06:00

It is not too late to take a look at my health at the age of 58. I have been complacent with my weight and health until now. I used to be quite athletic when I was younger, was very thin at one point that I was called a Biafra refugee. (anyone remember the under nourished kids from Biafra, west Africa)
I prayed hard to add on a little weight so that my pants have somewhere to hang. My waist was 19-21 inches. My chest was 32 cup A and i was mad when some guys I hang around with said that my chest was as flat as the Bayan Lepas runaway.
I started to put on a little weight after I quit my regular aerobic. I had aerobic everyday while i was in Hawaii, on returning to Malaysia, the aerobic had not caught up yet. Then whatever little muscles I had turned to fat and there wasn't any indication that it was going to stop.
I became really fat after a couple of years into my happy marriage. I ate what my husband put on the table and soon enough my jeans sizes creeping up.

I came to the US wearing size 6 jeans and of late I was into size 12. My excuse was size 12 is convenient in winter when I usually wear a pair leggings or sweat pants under it. Only i was wearing them right into summer.

So, at 58 years old I had a good look at myself in the mirror, and told the person in the mirror, that is it, things has to change. About a month a go, I started to look at what i eat, and decided to do something about it. Added to the the diet I put myself into, I started to do some exercise. I started to jog and walk up and down my driveway.

I lost 10 lbs in the first week and that encouraged me to keep what i was doing, but it I did not lose any weight the next week. I was kind of disappointed, but i was feeling energetic and slept well so I kept going and now I can jog up and down the hill 2.5 miles everyday.
I do not get on the weighing machine often but I am sure I lost some.

I can now get back into my size 6 jeans and almost feel comfortable in kebaya pendek that i wore on my wedding day. i still have to work hard as my husband said, baby, you took 10 years to get to that size, you can't expect to get back into shape in a month.
So,I think it is not too late for me to work towards my goal.

Welcoming winter 2010/2011

2010-11-17T10:23:00.002-06:00

When we start going back to standard time in November, it is a signal that we need to get things ready for winter. There is not much to be done for the big city dwellers, but for rural folk like us, there are a lot of things to be taken care of.

1. First thing first, check the fire alarm in the house to make sure it is in working condition, the battery is changed if it needed be.

2. Then to make sure the fire place is cleaned, so that there isn't any leaves or bird's nests or squirrel nests in the chimney pipes. If using, propane or natural gas for heating, make sure the tanks are filled up.

3. Check and change the oil in the generator to be ready when the need arises. We might be out of power for weeks if we have ice storm and stranded.

4. Drain and roll up all the outside water hoses and store in a dry place so that they don't get frozen and can be readily used when needed. Dry cold winter can be fire hazard.

5. Put hay in the animals houses to keep them dry warm for the winter. Put fleece blankets in the dog houses for them to snuggle during cold nights.

6. Then come the motorized vehicles. Drain water from the RV, the boats. Change oil in all the cars 2 pickups, a car and an SUV, the ATV, the lawn mowers, the tractors, the backhoe etc.

7. Just wait for the winter to arrive.

It is that time again

2010-10-15T22:04:00.003-05:00

Mid October is the time to re-pot all my precious tender plants before winter arrives. Although we already had a couple of frost lately, they have not killed some of the hardy ones that i covered with blankets. Tender ones like kunyit, kesom, cili api, i have replanted them in smaller pots and put them on a wagon. Every evening I push them into the garage and the lime and serai i covered with blanket.
In the morning when the sun is up i push the wagon out in the sun and uncover the bigger plants. Soon all will have to go into the room next to the garage and have the fire/heat going at night. The room has big glass windows that let the sunlight through in the morning and evening, so these plants will not die.
This is the time to get all the fruits left on the trees before they get frostbites on the trees. I have quite a bit of pears still on the tree as well as the granny smith. I will pick all the pears (the tree is not much taller than me) by end of the week and then preserved them in syrup.
So, i shall be busy tying up all around the place before winter arrives.

Last days of summer

2010-09-26T21:09:00.002-05:00

This year the summer seemed to stretch a little longer than usual. Officially summer ends 20th of September but this year summer temperatures lingered until today when it suddenly dropped to hardly 60F and the morning was 45F. It is cold with the wind blowing15-25 mph. It takes a little while to get used to the new temperatures. I like it though.

I still have some fruits on the trees and the apples have been dropping on the ground a bucket a day. I now have another chore to do in the evening, go feed the critters in the woods. I bring a bucket of apples and leave them by the pond so that the critters can party at night. By morning all of the apples are gone. This evening i thought i would go and sit and wait to watch the party, but with my dog Dumdum around, no critters showed up.

Surprisingly I hardly see Nutkin the squirrel and his gang of merry- men around. There were a dozen of them in winter and early spring, but in summer I don't see them at all. I guess they have somewhere else to find food or busy hoarding nuts for the winter.

The pond in the woods is now full of fishes, from tiny ones to big ones. Most of them are perch. We feed them with bread every other day. They eat half a loaf each time.

Today for lack of thing to do I baked a loaf of apple bread. It turned out real good!

On a hot summer day

2010-08-06T12:48:00.004-05:00

Here I am on a hot summer day, sitting in front of my computer, chatting with one of my nephews as well as reading some postings on my Facebook. My eyes caught a posting by a nephew on his wall. He said he wished his parents were rich but lamented that they are not thus he has to work hard to be rich and look after them. I was so touched and my tears was welling up. A 20 year old son has set up his mind to work hard and has his parents in mind is something so refreshing.

He was not good academically, but has gone to a community college to learn a skill, that will help him be marketable in the ever developing country. At the college, he began to understand the importance of maths he learned but never liked in school. The engineering maths made sense to him rather than those he learned at school. It was easy to master as there is a purpose in learning those formulas. Now he is undergoing an Industrial training, he complained about the hard labour, yet, he understands that he needs to know the details of the process. He understands that in order to go further in his chosen career, he needs to be in the "kuli" pool first. I am so proud of him.

Thank you Max

2010-07-25T18:58:00.002-05:00

It has been very hot and humid these couple of weeks and I have either bring my dogs to the pond or give them a shower every afternoon to cool them some what.

This afternoon as usual, I went to give them a bath. I usually drag a water hose and wash Max first then do Dumdum. I do this because Max is kind of docile and just let me wash him without shaking the water off until I finished with him. Dumdum will shake off a few time during the shower.

So today it was rather hot and when i was squatting running the hose over Max, I must have blacked out. BB was not home, away on someone's hayfield. I only came to when I felt something wet on my nose. It was max kissing me or sniffing me or licking me to wake me up. I don't know how long I was out, but I managed to make a pool infront of Max house. It was quite scary to see Max so close to my face with his tongue hanging and his nose so close to mine, but I was so thankful that Max was near helping me the way he knows.

Thank you max, my big white puppy!

My thoughts

2010-07-14T13:44:00.002-05:00

I titled it my thoughts as it means mine. I turn 58 this first week of July. I just don't know where all those years have gone. When I sit and keep my mind wondering back and forth, I realised that I must have done something good as I am still alive and kicking. Realistically I am over the fence now, but it is kind of hard to knock it into my head. At this point in life, I should be thinking of putting things in order. Seriously, the paperwork has to be in order for my meager financial nest, my property, my jewelry etc.
Living on a farm far from a sizeable Muslim community is quite a task when we need help from them. There are list of things to note down, just in case. The telephone numbers to contact, the people to inform, the banks, the "authority" etc. These tasks have to be done, before we are not able to make good judgment. Legal papers have to be put in order.
I know this sounds morbid, but I think everyone should have at least some kind of preparation.

Lavender

2010-06-18T19:31:00.005-05:00

This is the first year my lavender bushes bloom. I only have a couple of bushes that i planted God knows how many years ago. This year they have plenty of flowers and I am as happy as a nenek kebayan.

Flowers, Vegetables and fruits of 2010

2010-06-09T16:00:00.008-05:00

Roses

Lavender

Cili padi

Kunyit

Sweet potato

Tomato

Garlic

Prunes

Pears

Peaches

Peach

Grapes

Grannysmith

Apples

This blog is specially for my dearest friend Yg. Arief who is not on facebook. This spring I do not do a lot of vegetable gardening as we had plenty of rain and the ground is too wet to till with the tractor. I did not plant flowers as I was lazy and was away for the best part of the planting time. I did not go to the back of the property either to see the beautiful wild flowers as i usually do.

This is wimpy kind of excuses that I can think of for being lazy.

Enjoying the weekend

2010-06-08T09:04:00.004-05:00

Lake Eufaula http://www.outdoorsok.com/Oklahoma/Eufaula

Last weekend we went out to Lake Eufaula to have some fun. My neighbours Lynn and his wife Cathy joined us for a cruise and dinner. It was a great trip. we played in the water for a while and dock at a restaurant for dinner. The food was very good. The ride back to the dock was fun too as the sun was setting and the breeze was cool. Bill went fast past the Lake patrol and was chased by the patrol boat. We were checked to see that we were following the Lake safety regulations. All were in place, but was told not to stand and drive standing up for safety reason.

What do I do with the squirrels!

2010-05-22T15:39:00.004-05:00

I have given up with the squirrels in my yard. I thought there were only Nutkin and his 2 siblings, but I was wrong. Nutkin has a dozen of cousins living around the woodywood.

It was funny at first to see Nutkin climbing on my windows showing off his manhood from time to time, but when there were 3 Nutkins doing the same thing at the same time, it was not funny anymore. It took me a while to realise that there were more than 3 of them romping around from branch to branch. One afternoon I counted 11 of them playing in the yard and they all look the alike.

I did not believe my husband when he told me to stop feeding the squirrels on the porch before the whole clan would come and join in. Nutkin is a very tame squirrel, who would come and get nuts from my hand and eat at my feet (I sit on the lounge chair on the porch). At times Nutkin would go and dig out some nuts that he buried around the yard and bring it on the porch to eat it. I thought it was cute and friendly. Then one day when we were not at home, probably one of Nutkin's cousins got bored waiting for nuts, it chewed my door frame and the hand rail of the porch. I was angry of course, so I told Nutkin to tell his clan to behave or I would not feed them again, or they would end up in some one's pot. Do you think they listen to him? A few days later, the french door screen was chewed and torn that we had to duck-tape the holes. Now the door looks typically like a redneck door, all duck-taped. We are waiting for the nuts and fruits are ready so that they can go find somewhere else for food then only replace the door.

An early spring day.

2010-03-23T16:27:00.003-05:00

A sunny spring day. That is what we have today, March 23rd. I went for a walk around my house and it was so peaceful except for the south wind blowing. I took some pictures and I would like to share them with my family and friends.

The pond at the back of the property that Bill dug and have some fish in it.

Blue sky and dusting of clouds.

My long driveway from down the hill.

The little unnamed creek at the bottom of the driveway. Its water is clear and never dries up even in the hottest and driest summer.

In my humble opinion

2010-02-26T13:38:00.003-06:00

I have read in Malaysian newspapers that 7 out of 10 inter marriages between people from western cultures i.e the orang putih failed miserably.

There were a few assumptions such as the different cultural background, the different religious background and the short time of knowing each other are being the reasons.

I am married to a white American Muslim. There were many unpleasant encounters with Malaysian especially Melayu when I went home to visit.

One incident when browsing at a craft store I was asked if I was a social escort to a white man I was with.

I was given a dirty look when my husband held my hand at a Rest and recreation stop on the north south highway. I overheard a derogatory comment "Kesian mat salleh tu dapat pompuan siam tua" . For goodness sake my husband is also old. We are in our late fifties.

I was told off at a crowded arrival gate to move to a hotel room when my husband was hugging me when he came out of the customs.

I was called names when some people on my blog found out I married a white man. I was called besar kepala, megah, lupa diri etc.

Some even assumed that I was not practicing Islam and discarded my asal usul.

These are some reasons that are hard to make an inter cultural marriages work.

In my humble opinion, in order to have your marriage work if you happen to have a white man for a husband is to live away from your community. Periodical visits are healthier in your relatioship with your family as well as with your marriage.

When 38 deg. F or 4 deg.C feels like a heatwave

2010-01-10T15:14:00.003-06:00

We have been in the deep freezer since Dec 24th 2009 and today, January 10th is the first day we have been above freezing. Today the high temperature reached the amazing 38 degree Fahrenheit. It is a joy to see the chicken running around and sun bathing in the yard. Dumdum and max must have feel relieved to be out in the sun stretching their limbs and enjoying the heat and the sun.

We only had one snow fall on the 24th of December and it has lasted until now. The snow has become so hard like a mountain of rock. Today we will see some of them melted away. It is a joy to be able to walk out of the house without six layers of clothing and a face mask. The air was so dry and cold that we can actually see the humidity turn into ice particles that float in the air. It was like silver dust being sprinkled in the air.

I hope after this deep freeze, we will see some warming trend ahead. The temperature goes back to normal which is very nice and crispy. Cold in the morning and mild in the afternoon. By normal temperature I mean, the night and early morning to be just below freezing and high is above freezing.

I am looking forward to be able to walk with my dogs again.

Welcome 2010

2009-12-31T11:26:00.001-06:00

May we be healthier, wiser and happier.

Dumdum and Max having their new year's treat. A grilled leg of a deer each. Yumyum.

Last days of 2009

2009-12-27T21:34:00.000-06:00

Time just flies when you are older. Year 2009 is ending. Here are some pictures of the last week of 2009.

White Christmas

2009-12-25T20:18:00.000-06:00

It is a white Christmas alright. White Christmas is very rare in Oklahoma. When the weathermen hinted that we might have white precipitation, everyone was looking forward to a white Christmas. Nobody expected that the storm would turn 150 miles south making the whole of Oklahoma and north Texas in its path of wrath.

We had blizzard that nobody have ever seen before in the state. With sustained wind at 45 mph and over and 60 mph gusts, the whole state was crippled. A 50 vehicles piled up on the interstate and many road accidents. Oklahoma was not ready for this kind of storm. The wind was so strong that snow drifts covered the cars on the roads.

At my house the wind was so strong, I was almost blown away when I went to feed my animals. Visibility was so poor I could not see where i was going and i could not see my husband a foot away from me. I don't know how much snow we have because of the drifts. we have 3-4 feet drifts and today my husband had to use the tractor to clear the front of the house. The snow was up to my french window and almost up to the deck.

My dogs kept themselves warm in their houses and in the morning, their doors were blocked by the snow. They were snowed in. Max pushed his door to get out and was so happy playing in the snow. Both of them run up and down their cables and rolled in the snow. I am sure they enjoy themselves.

What we write in our blogs

2009-12-24T18:05:00.000-06:00

I write on random topics in my blog. I am passionate about animals. I love animals. I observe them in my yard and see how clever the squirrels are. I write on birds too, I observe the blue jays and the cardinals in winter. I write about the furry possums the first time i saw them. I write about the deer that are so in love in the Fall that they come out in drove to mate and thus become hunted for sport and food. I also write on the tortoise that cross the roads for no reason at all and get killed just wanting to be on the other side of the highway.

I write passionately about Bull, the young bull we raised for food and of course, I write passionately about my dogs. They are and were my closed friends and protectors. They care about me and they do not talk back when i talk to them. They listen and they protect me from other critters as well as people they feel are a threat to me. Beside being a good sharp shooter and can handle guns really well, my dogs are my first alarm when anything approaches the driveway. For those with at least a little clue about living in a rural area, they understand why we rural people need protection.

I do not need to explain what i write, after all it is my blog. if anyone out there happen to drop at my blog (house), if they do not like what I have they can move on. It is very sad that those who do not like what i write, are too chicken to make themselves visible. They rather hide behind anonymity .

If they are curious about something, go do a research and increase their knowledge. having a little knowledge and assuming that they are a level higher than others is the most naive. If they only learn at school that a little knowledge is very dangerous, they don't have to expose themselves in my blog. You know the saying, it is better to be thought stupid rather than open your mouth and remove all the doubts.

I can write anything i want in my blog, so be it. You don't like it, move on.

Roo died today

2009-12-23T19:19:00.000-06:00

I am sad that my dearest and loyal friend died today 2 days short of her 10th birthday. I have had many happy days with her, walking in the woods and she protecting me from snakes and such. Her swiftness had earned her many rabbits and quails. She also dragged home a live kicking deer.

I am missing her.

Roo is dog, a creature that God had made available in this world to be a joy and company as well a hunter and protector to humans, who sometime forget that animals too are created by Allah to live side by side with us.

To those who commented on my last blog, I thank them for showing me, how shallow some people can be. How evils and hateful their thoughts are and how little they know about their religion of peace and humility.

They condemned me without even knowing me. How bongkak dan sombong nya mengaku berkahwin dgn suami yg beriman.

Roo and the visits to the doctor continues

2009-12-12T15:51:00.000-06:00

Roo has been with us since I first came to live in Oklahoma. She was the golden bundle that only fit in my hands the first time we picked her. She was the smallest amongst the litter. We brought her home shampooed and kept her warm and I fell in love with her.

Roo was very timid and very insecure when as a puppy. She must have been bullied by her siblings or get less food than the rest. We put her in a box and she stayed there without a whimper. To make her feel better my husband built her a tiny house and put it next to Big Bubba's house to make her feel safe and comfortable. She grows to be a beautiful dog.

She has been with us for more than ten years now and age is catching up with her. She has skin allergy and food allergy. He beautiful golden coat is shedding due skin irritation and no shampoo can stop the shedding.

Then the trips to the doctor began when her mouth and gum start to get swollen. The doctor had to do a lot of tests and trial and error drugs. it has been many months Roo and I making trips to the doctor fortnightly. If one drug does not work, we try a new one. Now she is on 4 kinds of drugs. Poor puppy. One thing about Roo, she eats her pills with no complaint. I just put them in my hand and she eats them all at one go. Then she would take a drink.

The last 2 weeks we tried on a new drug and at the same time an old rancher said that it could be the food that she is allergic to. So Beginning of last week, I took her off completely from the store bought dry food. I now cook her a meal of rice and tuna. I can see the difference, she does not itch as much, her glands started to shrink and the gum swell has stopped. I am not very sure if it is the new drug or the change of diet that making her better. Whatever it is, I am happy and hope her health improves soon.

The choices

2009-12-10T16:00:00.000-06:00

At some point in our lives, we made choices. They may not be the right ones, but we made them. We may have good choices if we have a general plan in our lives. Ad hoc choices sometime work but more likely may not.

Making a choice is like taking a challenge. When we choose to do something, we must be clear of what stand in front of us. It maybe a smooth sailing trip or the road would be bumpy. If we feel that the end is worth the bumpy road or turbulent sea, then we know what to expect and not fail half way.

We might have marked our pit stops and review our road map from time to time and make a choice again. A wrong decision or choice maybe corrected if we trust our head than our heart. A choice maybe painful initially, but if it reaps happiness at the end, then it is worth a try.

I have made many choices in my life major and minor ones. I am still making them. We have fear of the unknown, so many a time, we chose to stay in our "comfort" zones even though we are unhappy or suffering.

The first step is to correct our perception. Take love for example, we equal love as giving care, I slave over this because i "love" them. I want to show them how much I love them. Yet, if we perceive Love as the act of receiving then we are at the other end of the stick. Just think about it, if we balance it out, we might be happier.

The choice is ours to make. It all begins with us. If we make a choice to please us, then we should not feel guilty because those or the others who feel that we should make choice to please them should feel guilty.

This is my very personal opinion of making choices. I should not be afraid that my choice does not please everyone. Whom ever "they" are can make their choices too.

A Day trip to Lake Eufala

2009-11-06T11:53:00.000-06:00

It has been quite sometime that Mr. B and I spent time doing nothing together. So, on a Thursday morning we decided to make a trip to Lake Eufala. We have been there many times fishing and camping, but never a day trip driving around that beautiful little town by the lake. We went to the marina where the locals dock their boats. There were all kinds of boats from the small ones to the huge boat houses. Each dock has a little patio for boat owners to set up a grill and some furniture. I think some people live in their boats or boat houses and take them out to the lake from time to time. You can sail the boat from Lake Eufala right down to the Gulf of Mexico via the Arkansas River and then the Mississippi River.

All the leaves are brown lalalala

2009-10-23T20:35:00.000-05:00

Things do get old

2009-10-18T09:22:00.000-05:00

Things do get old rather quickly or it is just with me. I remember I was excited the first year I moved here. I was surprised to say the least that there were dirt roads or unpaved roads all over the country, just outside the cities. I was so surprise to experience the first Fall, when the trees turn into beautiful colors, yellow, red, brown and dark wine. I went to pick native pecan and walnuts by the road side and at a neighbor's ranch. They were everywhere, littering the dirt roads, nobody cared nobody picked as every one's yard has a tree or two. I made my husband stop by the roadside to pick persimmons that were ripening on the trees. The fruits on the bare trees look so inviting and I picked a bunch of them.

After years of seeing that many fall seasons, these things that excited me only 10 years ago, had somehow diminishing. They are just there year after year, but I still look forward for the changing of colors on the trees, though not in the same degree of excitement.

It was fun to sit by the fire in winter playing scrabble and cracking pecan, but I find that they get old after years of doing the same activity. I no longer crack pecans, as I now send them to the place where they have machine to do it.

It was fun to see deer in the back yard and along the road, but they are now more of a nuisance than an awe. I learn to stop the car when I see one crossing the road, because there would be a few more following behind, just running as fast as they can.

It was awesome to see a flock of turkey hundred of them crossing the road, paying no attention to you in your car, but now they are not anymore. You have to stop your car and let them cross and if you are lucky, they would fly over your car and drop poops.

Well, maybe, it is just me that is getting old.

End of summer 2009

2009-10-12T11:45:00.000-05:00

Cucumbers

Tomatoes

Hybrid banana plants (Musa)

Fennel (Jintan manis?)

What is it with Malaysian representatives overseas att

2009-10-02T09:43:00.000-05:00

My heart was in pain when I read about a group of 300 Malaysian students stranded in Padang, Indonesia waiting for a Malaysian representative to show his/her face.

This kind of attitude has been around for a very long time. There is not any improvement since I first went overseas in the 1970's. I think it was the same before then.

A long time ago when I arrived in London, there was nobody to meet us at the airport even though we were told that the MSD would send a representative to meet us. Well that was some 40 odd years ago. Then in the course of my stay in London, I had some student's business to attend to or had to be present to deal with my study matters I was made to feel like I was more of a burden or a nuisance than a duty to the attending officer. I was made to wait for hours to meet a certain MSD officer. I waited outside the room and listened how busy she was talking for hours on the phone about a new film that was in town and when they plan to go, as well other things they were going to do. Then something interesting happened.

My friend who was with me happened to be a sister to a Datuk in Malaysia (then the datukships were not as numerous than now). This guy seemed to have worked under or with my friend's brother before. He walked past us and saw us and talked to us asking how the datuk was doing etc. The a miracle happened. The MSD officer was not busy anymore and was able to see us after more than an hour on the phone chatting. That kind of attitude is still around I can bet.

Ten years after I left London and on one of trips visiting friends, we made an appointment to meet at the lobby of the Malaysia hall. While waiting for my friend to arrive, I chatted with a few students there. I talked to one student who was there since the afternoon. (My appointment with my friend was for dinner). He came down from Norwich in the morning wanting to see an MSD officer about his scholarship that have not came in for a while and he only had a few pounds in hand. My friend and me invited him for dinner, he refused because he did not want to miss his appointment with this officer who seemed to have gone out and should be returning later. Guss what? we returned to the lobby after dinner and the student was still waiting. it was already late in the evening and for all I could think is that the officer never came back to office or was never in the office in the first place. My question is, Do these people who are paid to look after our welfare have any conscience at all???

Then in the course of work I had to attend a workshop in the Philippines. The place was Laguna. It was at SEARCA, a research centre full of foreign researchers. One day a group of us went on a bus to Manila and was robbed at knife point on a jeepny. It was in the newspaper as we made police report. The media people were there and as we were guests of the country and of international mixture, it caught the eyes of the then president of the Philippines ( I think it was Ramos).

The president sent a personal letter of apology and representatives from other victims countries came and visited us at the centre. Where was the Malaysian representative? None!!!.
So much for BCA (bersih cekap dan amanah) attitude of the time.

Living in the United States or surrounding geographical areas that has no direct representative, we have to deal with our embassy in Washington DC or various consulate in NYC and LA.
Unless you know an officer personally, you will not get your business taken care of easily.

I had numerously telephoned the embassy, it was either busy or the was nobody to answer the phone. Nobody would be knowledgeable enough to tell you what to do. It would be different if you happened to know their bosses, they would go out of their way to even give you the bosses personal cell phone number. I am writing this based on my personal experience.

However, after a very long suffering treatment from "our representatives" I came across a very nice helpful personnel at the Malaysian consulate. Before my chance meeting (phone call) or dealing with this nice young officer, I had called numerous time to the same consulate and talked to one officer who had an Indian accent and boy was he so uppity.

Still there is nothing much to shout about on the attitudes of Malaysian representatives abroad. Until the Foreign Ministry do something about this and not circulating the same group of people, the situation will remain the same even in the 22nd century.

What is after Ramadhan?

2009-09-24T11:10:00.000-05:00

After Ramadhan is definitely the celebration. What we celebrate may differ greatly. Some celebrate because they now can eat as usual and can party to their hearts content. Some celebrate because this is the time of the year they can show off their new house, their new decorations and whatever they can show to people that come to visit. Some celebrate by throwing big open houses so that people can remember until next year how grand their open house is. They outdo each other in showing their "generosity".

Talking about generosity, some people have good intentions of giving to the unfortunates, but the way it is done is more like wanting to let it be known to the whole world. They forget that it is best that the hands that received do not know the hands that gave. So, the culture has developed that it has to be a grand ceremony when giving to the poor, the orphans and the unfortunate.

However there are a lot more out there that celebrate the end of Ramadhan by saying a prayer or two for having the time to appreciate the great month. A time to be thankful for the good life that they had and a time to repent.

Hellooooo Camper (5th wheel)

2009-08-22T13:58:00.000-05:00

We sold one of the small tractors and bought this camper. It is much easier to accommodate visitors then to cramp up in our little 2 bed room house. 2 slides out...Roo guarding it.

These pictures are meant to be viewed by my adik beradik and sedara mara and nek.

Has an awning

Another view

This 41 feet camper can sleep six, has a kitchen, a bathroom with a bathtub and has a loungue. Bill calls it his club house.

Roo and the visits to the doctor

2009-08-06T15:51:00.001-05:00

Roo has been with us since I first came to live in Oklahoma. She was my puppy, big brown eyes and very pretty. Lately she has been infected with all kinds of skin diseases. Her skin and coat became flaky after winter and after the flakes formed, the clump of hair would fall off leaving red spots.

I took her to the vet and after some antibiotics, she seemed to have improved. Two days ago her leg got bitten by something and it was swollen. i thought it could be a snake bite, so i thought she would get better after a benadryl and antibiotic, but when i return from town the two tiny holes have became big and oozing bloody flesh.

I called the vet and immediately took her to the animal hospital. We suspected she was bitten by a brown recluse spider which is very poisonous. The poison rots the flesh and it can be deadly. By now the wound has become big and the skin had rotted. The Vet gave her a very strong shot of penicillin and antibiotics. She came home groggy and slept all day. After the medicine booster, she was given so many pills for the last 2 days. She is to visit the Vet again on Friday.

Although it makes my wallet slimmer, I would do anything to save my first friend here. She was the one who listened to me when i was homesick, sad, bewildered. She would sit by me and with her head tilted, listened to me, watched me shed some tears and be there for me. We would sit at the back porh, me on the top stairs and she at he bottom, just being together.

Both of us are getting old together, I know I would miss her when she has to go. In dog years, Roo is 70 years old, a wise dog.

I love you Roo

The day Buddy went to a new home

2009-08-06T15:38:00.000-05:00

Buddy had been with us for a few years. We learned to love him and thought he would mingle well with Dumdum, Roo and Max, but Buddy wanted more attention and thus would always pick a fight with Dumdum.

Since Buddy moved with us, the three of them have to be taken separately for walks. Dumdum and Max had to give away their freedom roaming around the yard or playing rough with each other. Buddy wanted to fight. He had fought 3 times with Dumdum, every time he was let loose. He lost twice but he would always intimidated Dumdum. It was very stressful for us, and when someone fell in love with Buddy and asked for him, we agreed. He has gone to a very good loving home that have kids who could give him all the attention he needed.

We heard that he was having so much fun at the new home that he would roll on the ground with the kids. He is now free to run in the yard.

I wish him the best and I miss him.

LestI forget: The first few years

2009-08-02T10:43:00.000-05:00

The first year away from my home was a lot of homesickness and catching up with a lot of new things. I was not crying all nights like some of the new students but there were moments of missing home. I knew I was to be tough as I was so alone despite so many "friends". I knew I had to make great effort to cultivate friendship as i realized I was not very good at it. I managed to make firm friends with a few and my friendship last until today.

Academic wise it was a real tough playing field. I was not doing good at all in the first few school terms. I only excelled in mathematics and geography. The rest of the subjects that dealt with reading in English were hard on me. I remember my mathematics teacher Miss Ponniah very well. Her dresses were all the same pattern, sleeveless and with a flare skirt. She once told me she wanted to hang me between the two ceiling fans because i could not answer her question.

There was Cik Sharifah Zainab who taught us Bahasa Melayu and she too wore dresses. Mrs. Kang the Science Teacher, Miss Chua the English and Music teacher.

The end of the year examination results was very bad for me. I think I was placed at 23rd of 25 students in my class. I passed all my subjects poorly except for mathematics. My grandfather asked me during the term break if I wanted to stay on or come back to local school. I thought I rather be last amongst the best rather than top of the class in a local school. So life went on and I made progress as my command of English improved.

My friends and I read all the Enid Blyton's books that were in the librarary. We read Dandy and Beano comics and i guess we got through those challenging years.

I was never in the limelight at school. I was just an average student. I made top 10 in class most of the time after those 3 trying years of Remove Class, Form 1 and 2.
I did well in my LCE (Lower School Certificate) and made it to Form 4. I then decided to be in the Arts Stream where I had friends. I was officially in the Science Class, but nobody knew i was missing. I was called to the principal office and had an earful of 'encouragements' and the then Senior Science teacher Mrs Gune gave me a half day lecture as to why i shoud be in Science Class. It was the most trying time the first term of school after the LCE. I dared not tell anybody of what was going on. I overheard some of my science 'classmates' discussing me at the supper room saying that i was giving away the opportunityto be in the science class since it was the goverment's inspiration to have may science gradutes. I was also forfeiting my chances of going overseas after MCE (malaysian school certificate).

All was settled after a while. the year I was in Form 4, A first batch of Form Six students came. They were so cool and grown up and they were wearing all the latest in fashions (mini skirts). They were the big sisters and they came from all over the country. We did not make friends readily with these new seniors because they were not sharing the same dorms as we were. They wore skirts for uniform while we were still in pinafore. I think later we wore skirts after form 4.

The greatest achievement I remember during this year was when we the fourth former beat the six formers in a quiz. Narimah, mariam and me (me!!) won a general knowledge quiz against the six formers. We felt great.
The other thing that happen in that year we were joined by new students who came after LCE. We welcomed them and accepted them into our fold.

Are you happy? that is the question

2009-07-28T15:32:00.000-05:00

When my siblings and I are grown, we went our separate ways but met up on any occasion at my parents. Since we had jobs that took us away from the nest, we could hardly sat and chat and talk about our lives. We only asked about each others health and family and never really asked if anyone of us happy or unhappy with our choice of life.

Nowadays when we can communicate on the internet we could really ask each other without feeling intruding. The other day my younger sister asked me if I was happy with my choice of life. She had assumed that I am doing fine and happy with my life, but she said now she wants to ask directly.
I was glad to report that I am doing fine and am happy with my current lifestyle. I was touch that she asked because it had been in her mind to ask for a very long time, but would not jeopardize the good time we usually had when I was home visiting.

There are many things that can make one happy, the simple things in life can trigger such happiness that one can never imagine. I love the tranquility of life in the rural area that might freak out some people. The sounds of the locust in the nights, the cry of the coyotes or the hoots of the owls.

My life is at a very slow pace compared to the hustle bustle of the city lights, the only lights we see here at night are the beautiful stars and the moon or occasionally the passing of the international space station. We sometime stay out on the deck to see the meteor showers or the play of the northern lights in the open sky.

In relationship I find that I am more at peace with plenty of room or space to be with myself. I like my independence and freedom to make decisions. I love being married too. There are things that I like to do together and there things I like to do by myself. I was single for a very long time and I loved my life then too. I love the freedom of, nobody can stop me doing anything I like to do. I was only responsible for myself. I did not have to consider anyone's feelings when I made any decision, I was in control.

Some people (women mostly) think that they are not really a woman until they get a man or have babies. I have nothing against them, but I think they have narrowed their scope of happiness to revolve around a man and that is how many get hurt.
Some think that to have babies s the ultimate way to ensure that the marriage is sealed, but look at what is happening today. Men do not give a hoot about leaving their wives and children with no means of supporting themselves and chase skirts. At least the enforcement of the child support law in the US is good, nevertheless some men prefer not to hold on to a job so as not to be traced to pay child support.

In a supposedly Islamic Malaysia, men just walk out of their responsibilities without a blink of an eye. They just leave the wife and children to fend for themselves without a shred of guilt and chase skirts all in the name of Islam. (Islam allows Men to have 4 wives). I blame lack of knowledge of one's religion that makes these irresponsible men be what they are. There are no court decision that can punish them. They should be shamed in public open court so that all can see or whipped with the cane in public for their negligence and irresponsibility.

Men when they start chasing skirts they would do anything to discredit their faithful wife. They would say anything as small as the way she puts food on the table is not the way he likes or the way she cleans the plates are not to his liking. If they are sincere they had all those years to tell yet, they wait until a new SYT comes along. Then everything that they had so good before don't look good anymore.

These are weak men, these are better off to be without. Those women who wanted so much to have these kind of men around are just heading for a heart breaks. I think, I would cut my losses and start anew.

So, are you happy?

Lest I forget: My new life begun

2009-07-07T10:10:00.000-05:00

Meeting new people was not what i could do easily. I was a confident girl where i grew up but when I met so many new people it took me sometime to get adjusted to. There were my classmates who spoke in their dialect that i could not understand and being from the north I had my tongue twisted to speak in the southern accent. It confused me most time as to why they did not speak the standard Malay language.

Adjusting to speak in the southern accent was one, and trying hard to speak English in the classroom was another. I think that was why i kept closed to only a few friends at school.

Living in the dormitory was another task to adjust to. We were in a mixed group of girls from remove Class to Form Five. The older girls tried their best to get us settled in. If i am not mistaken, the first year i was in the boarding school, there was only 25 of us in a dorm. The seniors did a little orientation to get to know us. We were asked to sing i think in the first week of my stay in the third floor of Block A.

The dorm prefect then was Kak Nik Maimunah from Kelantan and Kak Kamaliah from Perak was the deputy if i am not mistaken. Kak Kamaliah could sing could act and very athletic. A very popular senior. She was in form four.

As Kak Kamaliah was very very active in Dramatic Society, she was in charge in orientating us newbies into the dormitory life. I remember how scared i was when the few new remove class in the dorm were made to sing. i think there were only 5 of us. I sang a song made famous by Biduanita Saloma and on the spot I was given a nick name Saloma that lives with me until now. Most of my close friends and classmates and juniors know me as Saloma and kak Saloma. I bet some of them think that it is my real name.

I was made to feel at home by the presence of Kak Jamnah Din and Kak Fatimah Yusuf. Their kampong was not far from my Kampong eventhough there were from Kedah. The last time I heard Kak Jamnah was the Head matron in langkawi Hospital and Kak Fatimah Yusuf was teaching in one of the IPTAs.

Due to the strict rule of the clothes to be brought to school in the initial list, I did not have many change of clothes and I did not know how to tie a sarong, so I was mostly left to wear a few of my skirts and dress after school. A couple of weeks later i think we were issued school uniforms, 3 sets each a pair of PE shorts and a pair of House shorts.

We sent most of our clothes weekly to the laundry company, we called it Dobby day. I sent everything except my undies. The clothes came back nicely starched and pressed.

This, that and time just flies

2009-06-26T10:01:00.001-05:00

It is almost the end of June and I have not written anything for a month. I have been trying to grow my garden, growing vegetables and fighting the weeds that are trying to overtake it.

Spring has been very wet and it rained almost everyday in May. Threats of severe weather with hails and tornadoes lurking around, there was not much to be done. We could not start the garden due to the very wet condition.

Winter stayed on for a long time, we had our last freeze and frost until early May and of course killed almost all my fruit trees blooms except for the grapes that came on late. There are plenty of grapes on the vines and I am kind of tired looking at them as they keep on growing. You prune them, they still grow.

I just poured out gallons of last year concord grapes juice from my freezer, I just don't feel like drinking them anymore as well as wasting my time turning them into jellies. This year I just want to let them dry on the vines and feed the birds in the winter. Of course I will eat whatever I can eat and make juice just enough till I get a new batch.

I have 5 guests dropped by in Spring. Enjoyed their company wish they could stay longer.

I have nothing to write anymore, I am getting old and forgetful, so I may forget to blog for a while.

Lest I forget: The journey

2009-05-07T14:46:00.000-05:00

When it was decided that the next phase of my life would be far away from my family, preparations were made. We found out that a second cousin of mine was actually attending the residential school that was moving south to Johor Bahru. I do not remember who made the discovery but arrangements were made that I was to travel with her for when the school begun.

On the fateful day, as early as 5:30 in the morning we left for the train station. I think everyone in my family except my grandmother packed up in a car and went to the train station. We met up with my cousin and the train left at 7:30. I don't remember how I felt, but was so sad to leave my grandma behind. My grandma refused to come along because she said she would be crying. I learnt later that she cried every time she heard the train past my village.

The journey was the longest i have ever taken. My cousin introduced me to her friends that got on the train at every stop along the way. My cousin was in her last year at school, she was sitting for her senior cambridge that year.

The train arrived in Kuala Lumpur in the evening and only at night we took another train south. We arrived in Johor bahru very early in the morning, were picked up by school busses. We were sent to dormitories. Early in the morning after breakfast, my cousin took me to register and she had to go to her classes.. I think i was one of the first to get registered. I think after that we were taken to our classes. I saw most of the new students were with their parents, and i was all by my self.

I cannot remember well, how I managed, but I made it through the first day. I was allowed to live in the same dormitory as my cousin.

In the class room, Remove Class A, my form teacher was Miss Chua who did not speak Malay, did her best to settle us down. I made friend with a girl from Kelantan after we met outside the rest room/lavatory. She was wearing a red pleated skirt and a red striped blouse. i don't remember what i wear. Since that meeting, we sat next to each other in the class for 8 years.

Lest i forget: a new beginning

2009-04-18T09:14:00.000-05:00

I was always a bright kid. I wrote the alphabets on my grandfather's wall long before I went to school. My grandfather had a long serambi and the wall became our blackboard. My grandfather had this dates to remember written in jawi on the wall of the "central veranda" or "beranda tengah" of the house. There he had dates of our birth or some numbers written boldly.

I went to learn to read the Quran to at a prominent haji house. I could read the Quran long before I was officially registered "serah mengaji". I was a fast learner and was lazy too or bored as we had to repeat the verses in small groups. As I was the youngest, thus nobody paid much attention to me. I was bored because my small group was very slow to progress. Then the Tok guru started to notice I was missing in the group after I mastered a verse. She had to come over to my grandmother to tell her loudly (for me to hear) that so and so in my group was about to "lintas" me. meaning was to overtake my place in reading. I would then go and made sure I was way ahead a few verses and then 'ponteng' again.

This missing in action went on for a while until I completed the Quran at the age of 10. That was it, I was not into reading the "berlagu" reading. It was like a new grade when you had now to read properly with the proper sing song and the tajwid had to be right. I quit.

My academic was doing great never failed to get top the class every year except the one time I had to share the top of the class in one year. I was aware that I was that good when a group of us were selected to do intensive English classes in order to sit for a special exams at the end of the year. We went to sit for the exams at a school in town as my school was such a remote one. If I remember correctly there were 5 of us. Saleha Mahmud and me and the boys were Che Embi, Razak and Md. Saad. Four of us got selected to go to well known residential schools far away from our little town. Only Saleha the hard working one in my class did not make it. I felt so sorry for her.

I remember well, the day the results came out. The boys results came out earlier and they were jubilant. I thought I was not selected, but one evening my class teacher who worked hard for us cycled to my grandfather's house and told my grandfather that I made the list. I was there too when Cikgu Bakar told my grandfather. My grandfather then asked me "Nak pi ke dak? jauh nun kat Melaka". I did not answer immediately because I did not know what to say. But I remember Cikgu Bakar told my grandfather that it was a good chance to get a good education and it would be sad if a chance like that was to be wasted.

That night my grandfather asked me again if I wanted to go. I said yes. Then my grandmother started to cry. She was going to miss me. In between her sobs she told me I had to khatam my Quran and had to learn to wear the sarong properly as I never knew how to. I was most of the time in my shorts or skirts or a dress. Most of the time I think topless and seluar katok.

Later Cikgu Bakar came and gave us the offer letter from the education department and told us the residential School had moved to Johor Bahru. The school was no longer a feeder school for the MWTC (Malay Women Teachers College) in Durian Daun Melaka. I was going to a spanking new school with students who no longer groomed to be teachers, but to be what they wanted in the new era of the new education policy. Cikgu Bakar said I could excel and go to a university. There had been no one from my village that had been to a university and I could be the first girl to make it to the ivory tower. I could be a role model for the girls in my school to strive hard to get educated.

I must have been a super kid. I played all the games and track for my school. I played netball for the school , played badminton, ran the long distance as well entered oratory competition to the state level, berbalas pantun etc.

I was and still very proud that my grandfather has donated many trophies to the school. I was so proud to see the biggest championship cup in the cabinet in the headmaster's room was my grandfather's.

Then the biggest challenge of my life came. I had to leave for the well known residential school. My grandfather followed the list of things I had to bring very closely. I ended up with 3 pairs of pajamas, 3 pairs of bloomers, 3 blouses, 3 sarongs, shorts, 3 dresses, 3 pairs of shoes, 3 pairs of socks and some toiletries.

Then my new life begun

Lest I forget: My red bicycle

2009-04-17T11:45:00.000-05:00

As i was talking with my husband this rainy morning, i was telling him about my red bicycle. I told him that I talked to my red bicycle. I got it when I was in standard 4 or 5 ( I am not too sure) to cycle to school which was about a mile away. The reason for choosing a red bicycle was only known to me till today. There was a new classmate that lived about a mile from my house that had a brand new shining red bicycle that zoomed past my house every morning to school. He was trying to show off I guess, so I thought I should give him a competition. I still remember his name was Osman Che Rose. If his children or grand children happen to read this piece, I want to say hi!.

I had to say good bye to my bicycle when I had to go to a residential school. I talked to my red bicycle telling it that i would miss it and would always remember it. Then years past by and the red bicycle went to my youngest sister and later went to besi buruk buyer. I love that bicycle. If my youngest sister or her son reading this, I am sure she had fun and memories with that little red bicycle of mine.

When I was away

2009-04-08T09:40:00.000-05:00

When I was away painting the streets of New York, my husband went and got himself a new toy.

His toys have filled up the barn. I want to list down his toys

1. A Bulldozer
2. A Backhoe
3. A Little Rhino International tractor
4. A big Pontoon boat
5. A finish mower
6. A Cub 50 inches cut lawnmower
7. A 38 inch. cut lawnmower
8. A 1987 5.0 Ford Mustang (in the garage)
9. And this new Belarus tractor

with all kinds of implements and trailers

New York, New York, New York

2009-04-05T11:52:00.000-05:00

J*o and me with new jersey as the background

Clowning

Watching the Today Show

Doing New York was great, but being a person from the boonies, it is just not a place I want to have a home. I like visiting interesting mega metropolitan, but to live there is another story.
I like the shopping, the entertainments and the many great buildings, but what is there to do after you have seen them, done them?

Well, I enjoyed meeting J*e there and had a great time walking the miles with him. I was so sorry that I left my cell phone in the hotel. I realised i had not had it well after I was on the 50th street. So that day we were without a great aerobic tourist guide. Walking is an exercise good for cardiology.

After 5 days walking around nyc and doing stuff, i was ready to go home. I felt sad to part with J*e and wished I could be around longer.

Hey, what more can i ask. I was on NBC Today Show shook hand and talked to Meredith and Anne Curry. Had my few seconds of fame.

Quick and easy biscuits/scones

2009-03-14T13:33:00.000-05:00

Where I live biscuits and gravy is like nasik lemak and sambal bilis. We have that for breakfast or dinner. We also eat it with butter and jam or jelly (jam made from juice or fibre) in the afternoon. Biscuits are easy to make and delicious to eat when they are warm. In the UK, the people there eat them with butter and jam at tea time. They will have it over tea that is served with cream. These simple biscuits have people bragging about them.

There are many ways in making the scones or buscuits. My recipe is simple and the way my husband taught me to make. We do not use butter or margarine, instead we use heavy cream.

Pre heat oven t0 450 degrees. (This means that you turn your oven to 450 degrees and let it get hot and beep or the fire or light turn off.)

When your oven is being heated you can :-
1. Line or grease your baking tray

2. whisk or seive together 2 cups of flour, 2 teaspoons granualted sugar, 2 teaspoons baking powder, and 1/2 teaspoon salt.

3. Then stir in 1(1/2 ) ofheavy cream. (pour in 1 cup first to see if the dough is not too wet, then the 1/2 cup is the just in case the dough is too hard)

4. Mix the ingredients well until it turn into a ball and take it out on to a lightly floured surface.

5. Knead the dough until smooth about 30-45 times or seconds.

6. Roll the dough into 1" thick and cut into round or just cut into wedges if you dont have round cutter or using glass.

7.If cutting into round, simply push the cutter down and pull back. Don't twist the cutter.

8. Place the biscuits onto the baking sheet and bake for 15-17 minutes or until golden brown.

There you go, does not take more than 15 minutes to get them in the oven.

The gravy that my husband makes

about 1 lb of ground beef cook in the non-stick skillet until brown or cooked. If the meat is lean, ada a little cookong oil to it.

My husband does not like fresh onion, so he uses powdered onion in the meat.

when beef is cooked, put aside.

In the same skillet, mashed all the leftover in the skillet over slow fire. Add 2-3 tablespoons of flour and stir until it turns brown. Make sure the flour does not become lumpy.
Add milk (fresh) to the mixture and put the ground beef back into the skillet. season with salt, black pepper. let it simmer for 15 -20 minutes or until gravy is thick.

Serve ontop of the biscuits.

Substitute for petai?

2009-03-06T13:17:00.000-06:00

I cooked sambal tumis bilis the other day and thought it would be nice to have petai jeruk to go with it. My husband was having his sandwich and a bottle of pickled olives opposite me. He offered me some olives, like pushed the bottle across the table. I then had some and man! it tasted as good as petai jeruk with the sambal!. On the plus side is, the olives don't leave that peculiar smell in the bathroom.

Lest I forget: What else we did beside study

2009-02-28T16:31:00.000-06:00

In the 1970's what was considerd cool to do was going to see stuff that were not available in Malaysia. I remember going to see the Old Calcutta at some place and to my utter disbelief the show was in nude. What a shocker. Could not remember much, but the cast came out in their dressing gowns and started to throw away their garb. It was a first for me to see a full frontal nudity on stage.
Other shows that I saw were Jesus Christ Superstar, Hair, Cats to name some. I am not much of a life performance audience. Those show did not impress me at all.

Different ways of saying it

2009-02-14T16:11:00.000-06:00

When I was in school, I was taught to speak and write the oxford? English, When I went to University Malaya for my first degree, we talked in Malaysian English and our written scripts were in English. I survived. I went to England for my first post graduate and discovered that the English people did not speak the way I was taught at school. I had a hard time comprehending the South Eastern Londoners speak. It was at Shoreditch that I first learnt that I could not make myself understood ( I did my first 6 months attachment) at that town.

Now living in the US, I had to adjust again. My first experience with American language was in Honolulu. Everyone at my place of work complimented me for my flawless English accent??. I thought I was speaking in just plain English (the way we speak, with no accent). Then i began to notice that the American speak differently, even the sentences are spoken with a different intonation. They pronounce words differently. The most common difference is the vowel A and O. The word bath becomes beth, the name Donna becomes Daana, dancing become dencing .etc.etc.

I live in the south central of the country and our accent here is way different than those living in the north. The people here called the northerners the Yankees. The people here have their own vocabularies that i have yet to master. It is hard to understand when they speak with each other. Of course, we know that standing in line means queuing up; the shopping cart is a trolley; the elevator is the lift; the drive through is the take away etc. etc.

Twisters, here they come

2009-02-11T15:32:00.001-06:00

It is not even spring yet and the ice have not completely melted, and we already had a severe spring like storm. A few tornadoes spawned yesterday Tuesday February 11. There were 4 confirmed touchdowns in the whole state and one was responsible for wiping out the whole neighborhood and killing 8 people.

To most people, it was too early to have this kind of weather, so not everyone paid much attention. My husband said, when you are in Oklahoma, you have to respect the weather, it changes in minutes.

We heard over the news for days that we might have a bad weather coming our way from southern California and the jet stream was pumping in a lot of warm moisture from the gulf of Mexico, so very good ingredients for a severe storm. Everyone was expecting it, but not in the form of tornadoes.

Expecting to have rain and thunderstorms later in the day, my husband I went to town to get some supplies and to get some medicine for his flu. He had been under the weather for a couple of days. We went anyway, just in case we might have flash flooding with the expected rain.

It was noon when we got home and turned on the TV and saw that the weatherman was telling us that some little cells were developing on the western side of the state. We got moving, putting stuff in the underground cellar, just in case we need to get inside and spend some time there. It took me the whole afternoon to put together all the important documents, change of clothes, water, snack etc. inside the cellar. We had to make sure the flash lights were working, the battery powered TV was working, the scanner was working as well as the cell phones charged.

Then within minutes, the storm cells developed into nasty cells. (We watch on the TV radars). Then everything got more chaotic. Wall clouds dropping finger like tails as the tornado formed. Warning sirens went off and the tornado cut across the west side of the city and moving fast towards northeast. This happened around 2.55pm. I was watching it, but it was far from us, however the whole line of thunderstorm was moving east northeast, sooner or later it would come to us.

Every TV station was engrossed in what was happening in the city center, and they were just focusing it there with crews everywhere. When it was getting dark another big storm cells that had capability of producing a tornado was spotted south of the state moving in from Texas. This was the deadliest one. It ravaged the whole town and area near Ardmore killing 8 people and still counting. This was a dangerous one as it happened at 7:30pm when it was already dark.

Today, people are going around in daze and looking at the devastation. The tornado was 3/4 mile wide and was traveling on the ground for 25 miles, destroying everything in its path.

I am scared, but alhamdulillah we are alright except we had tremendous lightning, rain and hails and strong wind. I just pray that this is the only one we have for the whole year.

I could not get online to tell my friends since Tuesday and now glad to say that we are doing alright. My internet connection came on at noon today

The mess

2009-01-31T12:17:00.001-06:00

Five days after

2009-01-30T12:56:00.001-06:00

winter storm 2009 pictures

2009-01-30T12:10:00.000-06:00

Max in his own thick coat

Roo in her blue sweater

Dumdum does not need a sweater

Buddy too can do without one

Icicles

Rose bush

Grass

Lest I forget: How we lived through winter.

2009-01-26T12:24:00.000-06:00

As I am writing this the ice and icicles are falling off the trees and roofs. We have been icebound for the last 2 days. The days before the freezing rain, we have been dry but cold, with temperature below 0 Celsius. Then the warm moisture moved in from the south and the cold front from the north. There was enough moisture to have a thunderstorm. The rain started to fall accompanied intermittently by lightning and thunder. It rained the whole night which then freeze into ice the moment it touches the cold surface. The next morning sleet has started to fall and accumulating onto the ice. I thought it was going to snow, but it did not. The sleet covered the ground about 4 inches thick. The cold temperature compacted the sleet and ice and it became one hard surface, nice to slide.

This afternoon the temperature got above freezing, and thus the beautiful ice crystals are falling to the ground. I can hear the sound. Thus I felt like writing about my first winter experience.

Coming from Malaysia where 15 degree Celsius is considered cold, London 5C was extremely cold. London is actually not very cold if not for the humidity and the wind that comes with it. Where I live now 5C is actually pleasant to go out without a heavy coat. Winter time where I live now is very pleasant because it is dry and only occasionally when there is extra moisture in the air, we get snow. Otherwise we manage to live below freezing for weeks with no problem. The problem begins when there is warm air and moisture comes from the south and then we are in big trouble. We will have ice storm like today where drizzles and rain freezes the moment it reaches the frozen ground. I t is hard to explain to my young nieces and nephews that we are cold but no snow. Everyone of them expects it to snow the moment we move into winter months.

I arrived in London in the Autumn. The real bitter winter was not yet to come. I was prepared with thick and warm clothing but was not prepared with sleeping in the cold room at night. We had many layers of blankets but none of then kept me warm. Thus the fun of feeding the gas meter with coins. The coins ran out fast and I was still cold. Then I decided to get a sleeping bag and a hot water bottle. Throw the hot water bottle filled with hot water inside the sleeping bag to make it warm before getting inside it. Then snuggled inside and sleep good. The heater made me dry and I would keep a bottle of water to drink by the bed.

The houses we students could afford were the cheap ones and were always drafty. There was no proper heating system, and since were poor we had no choice but to live in those run down houses.

The wind, oh the wind the gusts could easily blown me away. At 89 pounds, I was skinny. I usually carry a bag full of my stuff and a long black umbrella as a walking stick. The umbrella came in handy when it rained and as well as a protection.

I lived through 2 winters in London but we did not see snow even though there was plenty of rain. We had some dusting of snow on the grass, but nothing like a 10 inches accumulation. Minimal of snow but plenty of rain. dreary weather, cloudy and very few sunny days. London was gray and depressing in winter.

We were hard up to experience snow, so the first winter during the Christmas holidays, my friends and I rented a car and drove up north. My first roommate, her brother and sister in law (parents to a national bowling champion) drove up to Scotland. (This couple loved to bowl in London). We stopped at a few places and slept the Christmas night in Edinburgh. There was no snow there, so drove on until the the northernmost town and drove across the lakes including Loch Lomond to Fort Williams.

We stopped at a small skiing town near Aviemore to go skiing. We stayed at a bed and breakfast for a couple of nights. I remembered falling many times on the slope. It was an experience.

Lest I forget: student's life in London

2009-01-24T10:19:00.001-06:00

My life as a student in London back in the mid 1970's was nothing much to to tell. I guess that life was just school/classes and home. Classes usually started at 8 in the morning and ended at 4 in the evening. When I lived in Finsbury park, I had to leave early and queued at the bus stop along side regular office goers. Most time i did not get on the bus until the the fourth one came. The buses were regular but they were always full. It was much easier when I lived in Highbury Corner. I was more in control of my schedule. I only had to walk for 20 minutes to my classes, taking short cuts. The only bus that passed my house to my classes was number 270. It ran on 20 minutes schedule and always full.

I walked through the church garden and a short jump across a duck pond and I arrived at my classes. Some of my classmates had to take a few buses or change a few trains to get to classes. I was so lucky to live near my school and all the convenience. I lived just off Holloway Rd. I walked past the Polytechnic of Central London (PCL) almost everyday to the nearest grocery shop. (I think PCL now is called Royal Holloway University).

What did we eat? I think for breakfast I had whatever was available and ate lunch at school. Most of the time, on the way back from school, I stopped at the fish and chips shop and bought a takeaway. I stopped too often there and my woolen coat smelt like fish. Beside the regular fish and chips I had burgers in the fridge for supplement.

We had our milk delivered twice a week. I not am too sure which kind i had the gold top or the silver top. The gold top i think had heavier cream. We put our empty milk bottles outside the door and get a new bottle of milk when the milkman passed our route. We left money by the bottles when it was the time to pay.

To heat my room, the landlord installed an electric heater. The old man also gave me a propane heater in case I needed more warmth. The truck that sell propane came every week. The landlord would buy for me if i put my can outside the door. I paid for the propane.

I went to Woodgreen or Finsbury park to get halal meats from a Pakistani shop. I bought enough to last me a few days. I bought my other groceries at Sainsbury's on Holloway Road. I went to the Pakistani corner shop if I ran out of things. The corner shop charged double.

My life as a student revolved around classes and home and what to eat. I did not have a lot of money to spare. I only went to central London once a fortnight just to browse around or watch movies at Leicester Sq. Some weekends I went to the park walked and watch people in St. James park or just walked by the Thames.

I did go to the Kew garden for a couple of times because they had a lot of tropical plants. I managed to bring home some daun karapole and pandan (curi of course). There was not many places that sold oriental food. Perhaps i did not find them. I only knew one place that I could get belacan, sepat kering and durian etc. at this small Penang Chinese grocery shop down in Kilburn. I can't remember its name, but I went there when I needed my supply, not that I cooked much. I think the little shop now is a huge supermarket.

What else did we do? oh, we attended parties at friends' houses and celebrated new year at Trafalgar Sq.

I was a loner and i did not have many friends and kept much to myself. I observed that Malysians tend to stick together. I did stick with a few friends, but most of the time I was by myself and my flatmate. I kena kutuk with my friends who were waiting for a bus after school because i chose to walk home with a matsalleh classmate. I made some friends at school, including one from Ghana, one from Turkey, one from Australia. Local students seemed to avoid foreign students. I also made friend with my tutor who liked to give tutorial at the Hospital where he worked, a one to one tutorial. So after tutorial, i would walk to SOAS just to read Malaysian newspapers and to read some old Malay manuscripts.

My computer lecturer was unhygienic, he would bring his long french bread minus the wrapper or bag to class and put it on the table and started to teach. He would use his saliva on his fingers to clean the white board. Then after class he would pick his bread and go.

Lest I forget, 2

2009-01-23T09:55:00.000-06:00

The house we rent was on the other side of Finsbury Park and the nearest tube station was Manor House. We still had to walk quite a long way to the house. We rented a small flatlet, that has a room with 2 beds and a small kitchen and a shared bathroom on the landing. If I am not mistaken, the flat above us was occupied by a couple of Chinese from Hong Kong. The girlfriend was a nurse and the guy was studying law. The landlady lived in the basement. The little kitchen had a table for two and a stove, with a skillet and a milk pan.

The room was heated by a heater that worked on the coin operating machine. The heater would turn off when the money was gone. So, we had to feed the coins ever so often to keep warm. The meter took a 25 cents coin if I am not mistaken, so we had to keep all our quarters handy.

One day my housemate decided to cook some vegetables with dried shrimps, and guess what happened? The landlady came screaming up the stairs and opened all the windows and doors. We decided that dried shrimps was a big no no.

On another occasion, we cooked chicken curry, and we opened all the windows and doors, but the good smelling chicken brought the landlady upstairs again to check. We offered her some, and she liked the curry and wanted my friend to teach her to cook.

After the first term, my friend decided to go and live with her brother and sister in law a little ways down the road, nearer to Wood Green. I moved to another flat nearer and within a walking distance to where my classes were at. The landlord was a little hard of hearing and lived in the basement. All the rooms in the house were rented out. The top flat was occupied by an Italian family and the rest of the rooms were occupied by students who studied around London. This house was near the Islington public Library which was just across from the Highbury tube station.

When I moved into this new place, I occupied the front room which had a bay window. It had a big bed, a big fireplace and a table and chair. It was enough for my need and I had to make do with the bare room. Later in the year, a friend from the same course joined me and rented the room above me. The kitchen and the bathroom are at the landing. We shared both the facilities with another student from Central London polytechnic.

Not much later, the family that lived in the attic flat moved out. My friend and I decided to share the flat which had 2 bedrooms and a kitchen. The room down stairs were taken by other students and one of them was a daughter of a prominent judge in Malaysia who recently got a big payout. This young lady did not stay long because the landlord did not like her social life. She brought home all kinds of people and all of them were men. I was not happy too when one morning I was going to the bathroom, a black guy popped out of the bathroom. I was glad she left. We didn't see her often because, she left the house later than us and came home late at night.

The rent was quite high for that time. We paid BP7.50 a week per head. Most Malaysian undergraduates at the time were getting about BP75 a month. Since My friend and I were getting more, we could afford to share a flat. This was no posh place, but mostly a rundown poor area in the London inner city. We had to live in the poor slum like area as our finance was limited. We lived cheaply, mostly preparing our own food or on occasion buy fish and chips. I think even now our students who are government sponsored still live in poor rundown areas outside the city. I lived in Highbury Corner for the rest of my student days in London.

Highbury Corner was near to everything for me. It was near to my classes and near to the tube station and near enough to walk to Holloway Road and Seven sisters road to shop. I usually took a bus from there to Marble Arch and walked the Oxford street when I felt bored. I think we mostly walked those time. I did not have the monthly student pass because I did not need it. I went to Malaysia Hall only a few times to eat, other than that I tried to keep away. Not very friendly people there. Most Melayu I met on Oxford street hardly had a friendly smile on their faces. Did not reply my greetings, so I just ignored them.

Lest I forget

2009-01-22T19:08:00.000-06:00

These days my memory is lapsing and I fear that soon it will be gone. I feel that i remember all the good times I had had, but few of the pain I endured.

Three decades ago, I ventured out for the first time to seek knowledge to faraway land of the white men. Visiting Singapore before and after it left Malaysia, or to Thailand do not count. This is really, really far away. I left Malaysia at the prime age of 22 to further my studies after a first degree at University of Malaya. My first long haul flight that made funny stops. I remember my flight first went down to Singapore, then caught another flight to Bangkok, then from Bangkok change the flight and aircraft to Bombay then to Paris, then landed at Heathrow. Today nobody would want to take such long winded flights anymore.

One incident that I still remember is that we almost got lost at Charles de Gaul's airport. We could not speak french and nobody could understand us. Well, got onto the right plane of course with minutes to spare. Remember we had to run on the tarmac to board the plane.

I think we arrived in late fall/autumn and the weather was chilly, yet we did not have enough warm clothes on us. I only had a light jacket on. My friend's friend came to meet us at the airport and we took buses to his place for the night. We were not met by any of the MSD people since we were post graduate students and i was not financed by the government. The wind, it was the bone chilling kind that I ever experienced. After we arrived, this friend took us to Mark & Spencer to buy us some warm coats. But i think it was a little too late as I was shivering uncontrollably. I could not sleep on the cold carpeted floor and I was sure the friend did not have the heater on since, to them the temperature did not call for the money eating machine to heat the house.

The very next day we took the tube to go to MSD to register or to let them know that we have arrived. i don't think they cared about me, but they had to register my friend who was a JPA scholar. That was how we were treated at MSD. Since school or university did not start until the coming week, we went shopping buying warm clothes. I was so grateful that a cousin of mind stuck a roll of pound sterling inside my pocket at the airport in Malaysia. The money that JPA provided for their students was so meager that one could only buy a not so warm coat. However i think post graduate students got more allowance than the undergraduates.

For the orientation week I stayed at the university hall of residence, but discovered i was paying double the local students and there was not many choice of food for me to eat except the potatoes. So, immediately after the orientation, i went looking for a flat. A friend and i decided to stay together at least for the first term. So, we went every where to look for a small flat. On our first trip by ourselves, on the bus using the bus routes and the London A_Z we visited so many houses. We decided to take up a flat near Finsbury park near the Grayhound racing stadium.

Some thing unpleasant happened when we were on and off the buses. My friend left her bag containing all her documents in one of the buses. So we got on a bus and told the driver our sad story and to our utter disbelieve, this bus driver took us from one bus depo to another. There were just the two of us and driver of the red double decker criss crossing London. We then found the bag at the last depo. We thanked the driver and the whole bus people for their kindness.
sambung later

I am a pesceterian lalalalala

2009-01-07T17:47:00.000-06:00

Who are the pesceterians? If you eat only veggies and fish, you are one of them. I am oh I am a pesceterian. I am not a new follower of this new diet craze, since I am allergic to red meat, and i suppose I can do without poultry as well. What a glamorous group I am in. My diet, my eating habit and my lifestyle has a recognition now. I am a pesceterian. I have yet to get used to spelling the term.

Are you a blogger or a twitterer?

2008-12-31T09:06:00.000-06:00

Blogging is going to be in, in 2009 and twittering is going out, so they say (CBS Morning Show 31 Dec.2008). Since 2006, many people have taken up twittering rather than blogging. The year 2009 will see more of a slow blogging going in the internet. Slow blogging is a more seriously thought posting that has meaningful content rather than twittering ( I am going to eat now; I am going to take a shower etc.) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twitter.

So, people, are you a blogger or a twitter?

Think before you post.

2008-12-27T11:32:00.000-06:00

I was watching Kids TV show this morning, and there was a warning for all kids to think before they post anything on the internet. This is also a reminder to all because whatever you post on the internet is for public viewing. Do not be naive and simplistic to think that everyone out there in the cyberspace are good people. There were kids who killed themselves because they were bullied and there were kids who find their pictures being hogged around in the internet. Adults too suffer the same consequences.

Newly graduated students should pay more attention to what they write because potential employers do scan the internet to find out more about their candidates. Big companies HR too scan their employees background and may result the employees being fired or demoted or reprimanded.

Bloggers who got carried away telling their company's secrets or discussing the company's operations may end up in hot soup.

Some bloggers opened up their chests, letting out their frustrations on family and spouses may find themselves being judged. Think, the blogging world is so very small, what you write may hurt those you love as well as yourselves.

There are sites that are created solely to criticize other blogs and blog owners to the point of blogs assassinations. Such blogs, although meant to be humorous, yet they hurt. There are of course character mutilations as well as condemnations.

So, people, think before you post.

Just a reminder

Circles in the sky

2008-12-17T09:49:00.000-06:00

I was surprised to see these circles above the clouds while on my flight from Phoenix to Denver. I think they are the rare circular rainbows.

Rocking in AZ & CA with Nekrock

2008-12-14T09:52:00.000-06:00

Early Thanksgiving 2008

2008-11-22T19:05:00.001-06:00

Main attraction after

Main attraction before

Remnants of Fall

2008-11-22T18:56:00.001-06:00

Bald trees and lonely motor home Buddy keeping an eye on it

What is left of the okra

shriveled persimmons

His and hers

2008-11-22T18:48:00.000-06:00

Hers

His

Little things in a relationship that make me happy

2008-11-08T07:50:00.000-06:00

I am not young and of course not a spring chicken anymore in fact I am as old as the chicken sunning on my deck. Like the chicken I am soaking up all the sun and enjoying my life. I am not giving up living and of course I am having the time in my life. I have a little to crave for, I am past envying what people have or to keep up with the Jones. I care little of what people say or think.

What I care now, is the little things that my husband and I do to show we care and love each other. I suck in every time my husband hugs me and tells me he loves his nutty wife. Sleep contentedly after he tucks me in and try to sing a lullaby out of tune, every night. Wakes me up or nudges me out of bed for subuh prayer and blabs every time I delay my prayer when the azan goes off from the computer.

I love the smell of warm food coming from the kitchen in the evening and the smell of baking especially in cold nights. Above all I love being served with a piece of warm brownie or mug of hot chocolate at night when I am sitting in front of my computer.

Still love taking a shower together when my toes are being dried lovingly and hair rubbed to dry. Love the way my husband rubs my feet with balm to moisturize my very dry cracked feet.

I may not have much in materials, but I thank God for this beautiful life I have now.

Soaking up the sun

2008-11-02T17:56:00.000-06:00

Remnant of summer

2008-11-02T17:51:00.001-06:00

Beautiful foliage

2008-11-02T17:43:00.000-06:00

Colorful leaves that change everyday.

Am I in the Fall of my life?

2008-10-19T14:56:00.000-05:00

The days are cooler now as it is the fall season, the season I like best. Leaves are turning into colors. Some are yellow, some are red, some are brown and of course some are still green. Squirrels are every where jumping from one tree onto another as well as crossing the roads. There are of course some casualties when many young squirrels did not look left and right when chasing their lovers. Squirrels mate in the fall and hibernate in winter to have babies just in time for spring.

If Fall is what I am having now, let it be Fall forever. Life is serene and peaceful and blissful. Happy leaves flying off the trees and be blown by the wind in a merry go round. I just want to live this way forever if I could.

I have had my springtime of life, full of anticipation, full of energy just like the spring in Oklahoma. Flowers bloom, garden growing and new leaves turning green. Birds and critters of the woods, mating bringing new life into the world.

Made my hay while the sun was shining in the summer. gather all the fruits and nuts for the coming winter. While in the fall or Autumn, I sit on the hammock all day under the colorful foliage of my big oak tree, watching and admiring the nature that God created; Enjoying the nice crisp weather with the sky so blue.

Winter will come no doubt. I wish i can hold on to Fall a little longer.

The raya it was

2008-10-11T20:59:00.000-05:00

Raya means celebration. End of Ramadan is something to celebrate. My husband and I celebrated our end of Ramadan on the last Iftar. The next day the first of Syawal, after prayer, we just did what we always do everyday. There wan't anything special. I did have a webcam conference with my sisters and family in Penang. That was it. It was fun because they had 2 laptops and webcams and everyone was having a good time stuffing their faces with food.

Mimosa for the little visitors

2008-09-11T16:52:00.000-05:00

My husband planted the tree just so the tiny humming birds could feed when they come visit every summer from the south.

MY Roo Girl was bitten again

2008-09-11T16:41:00.000-05:00

My Roo was bitten by a copper head again last week. Poor girl, her face was swollen so big that she looked like a monster. She drooled and her mouth was kind of flapping. She was in pain and I was advised by the vet to give her benadryl in case she developed an allergy. Praise be to Allah she was alright after a day. Love that dog. She would put herself in front of me and she would protect me when she thinks I am in danger.

Ramadan

2008-09-01T20:29:00.000-05:00

We completed our first day of fasting at 7:53pm. The weather was almost good, cloudy and the high temperature for today is 92F.

I did my Tarawih last night, the minimum and InsyaAllah tonight I will too. Surprisingly, I did well on my first day. Usually I would have headache and after breaking the fast i would throw up. Praise be to Allah all went well.

My little kingdom 2

2008-08-08T09:31:00.000-05:00

Daun kunyit/tumeric

Okra/bendi or kacang lendir

Tomatoes (leftover dunno what to do with them)

Serai/lemon grass

It is only early August, but my trees are turning colors. Fall is arriving. It has been so hot lately, probably the reason the trees are changing their color to minimize the water consumption.

However today we had a heavy downpour which immediately green my grass and burst or crack whatever left of my grapes on the vines. My plants, I am sure are thankful for the drink and I am thankful too as my water tank is almost full again. (We have a 500 gallon tank collecting water from the roof gutter). Of course, i don't have to water my tress and garden for a couple of days.

I cut some of my tumeric leaves and shred them and dry them in the house, save them for the rainy days when I run out of fresh ones. They keep good dried in the freezer (do not freeze them when still wet). As Ramadan is approaching I am sure I may need them. Since it is fishing time too, I might use them to flavor my ikan bakar, my masak lemak cili api etc.

My little kingdom

2008-08-04T10:08:00.000-05:00

The above pictures of my grapevines are for Delicate Flower to see.

People blog about their everyday life, good restaurants to go to, new shoes to buy, office politics, vacations they take. All those gorgeous stuff that make people happy.

People say, once you retire from 9-5 working hours, you will be bored and restless and maybe depress. It did not happen to me. I took my retirement day by day. There was no hurry to get into anything.

Acquiring all those worldly goodies kind of slipped off too once i retired. There isn't any need to buy those branded items to wear or carry or show off. My dogs and chicken will laugh at me I guess if wear or use them. There isn't any pressure to dress up to show off or to brag about where I go to dine, whom I meet or where I go for vacations to keep up with the Joneses. Sound boring huh.

It does not take much to make me happy and contented. I love this little homestead that my husband and I carved. There is nothing much here when we bought it. Whatever we have now are tress and things we grow and create. There isn't much but when you build something with your own bare hands, they sure make you feel good.

My husband built little things for me to be closer to nature. The bird houses to watch what kind of bird come to live. The squirrel houses set up on the huge oak trees for the naughty creatures to keep warm in winter and of course the squirrel feeders and humming birds feeders.

We grow mimosa trees just so the humming birds can come and enjoy the flowers as well as the honey suckles along the fence. My husband also built a small garden patch next to the house so that i can grow my oriental herbs and plants for my kitchen (read: serai, cili api, kunyit, limau nipis, basil etc.)

I get enthusiastic when spring comes, when i get to grow my vegetables seriously. Not so much to eat, but just to see how things grow when you give a little love and care. As usual, I over do it. I plant rows and rows of them and in the end I give them away or just let them go back to fertilize the garden.

Birds having a party

2008-07-29T13:32:00.000-05:00

Now I know why every morning when i open the door, i could hear birds singing and sound so happy. They are having an early wine party. They are partying on my grape vines. My grapes have ripen and ready for picking. So yesterday I went and look at them. Indeed they have, but i could not remember which is which, the seedless red Thompson or the black concord as they have twined together. The seedless Thomson has a lighter color and the concord is more purplish. Anyway, now I have them in my big basket. I have to separate them from the raisins though before I turn them into yummy juice.

I plan to turn the juice into jelly later on. For now I am drinking my very fresh grape juice, which is a little tart to the taste buds. I also have fresh tomato juice to drink as my tomato vines are loaded with big juicy ripe tomatoes. For those who have not tasted tomatoes grown and ripen on the vines in Oklahoma's hot summer sun, I cannot even try to describe how fantastic they taste. There is no comparison.

This afternoon while warming my leftover chicken soup, I thought of adding some dumplings into it. I have some round wrappers in the refrigerator, and some cheese plus the chicken meat from the soup. So while my chicken soup was warming up, I threw into the food processor some chicken meat, some onions and some of my squash. I added some ricotta cheese and made into balls and wrapped with the wrapper (wanton). Then i throw them into the boiling soup. They turn out to be tasty.

More fun at the lake

2008-07-22T20:46:00.000-05:00

It is the thing for us in the boonies to go out to the water for some fun in the summer. Since we do not have the ocean to jump into, we have many lakes to enjoy. here are more pictures of the Beach clan having fun. Yours truly would not be displayed here as not to invite unsavory comments and menambah dosa org yg menengok.

Rednecks having fun at the lakes

2008-07-21T10:30:00.000-05:00

Crayfish,crawfish or crawdad

2008-07-13T15:48:00.000-05:00

Cray fish, craw fish or crawdad, they are the same critters. The pond dug out by my husband 2 years ago, are full of those crawly critters. The pond was meant for my dogs to go for a swim especially in the hot summer days. It was meant to be a bigger pond, but due to the ground being wet most of the time and the backhoe and dozer almost got stuck every time, it remains at the original size of 20 X 10 ft.

My dogs do not care for the size, they enjoy it all the time. Buddy will just jump in and out of it a few times everyday when we go for a run. Max just skirt along the side where the water just touches his belly. Roo and Dumdum always swim around it a few times before getting out to shake off the water.

A few days ago, my husband decided to work on the pond again. He pumped the water out to drain the pond to a reasonable level. To our surprise, the pond is full of those yummy critters. I have yet to figure out how to catch them especially those the size of lobsters. Their pincers look mean.

As to how they come to be in the pond, we have a theory. Most probably those migratory birds stop by and drop their food in the pond. Those crayfish eggs must have hatched and create a colony in the pond.

I will post some pictures when I get them.

My garden produce

2008-07-02T12:39:00.000-05:00

Early spring vegetables

2008-04-24T14:48:00.000-05:00

Strawberry

Collard Greens

Chives

Asparagus

Mint

Clouds

2008-04-11T21:26:00.000-05:00

Towering clouds before the storm.

Spring is here again in the boonies

2008-04-11T09:46:00.000-05:00

The spring is here.

Shortcut cooking

2008-03-24T20:50:00.000-05:00

I am creative when come to cooking my favorite food. I make nasik lemak from leftover rice by sprinkling salted coconut milk and adding slices of ginger and onion. Microwave it for 2 minutes and I have nasik lemak.

I make curry mee by adding coconut milk to maggi instant noodles (curry flavour). Of course I add dried tofu, shrimps and vegetables. If I don't have maggi mee with curry flavor, I just use any instant noodles minus the flavor. I just boil fish curry powder with coconut milk adding to it crushed ginger root and onions. Then i add the noodles plus all the the garnishing that I want.

I grill/bbq my food often. To make sure my chicken or meat does not burn on the grill, I usually cook the beef or chicken first in the bbq sauce. If I am realy really lazy I just microwave the meats in the sauce. Then only I put them on the grill just to get the meat get dried and get the mark on them.

To have nicely cooked baked potatoes on the table at the same time as your bbq meat/chicken. Clean and dry the baking potatoes, then microwave them for 8-10 minutes or until soft. Then take them out and wrap them in tin foil singly/separately. They are ready to eat.

To make your meal look classy, just boil/microwave asparagus and serve it with butter.

How many ways do you eat your cottage cheese

2008-03-21T09:50:00.000-05:00

I was introduced to cheese eating when i was still young. My grandfather used to buy them whenever he went shopping at the one and only cold storage in Penang. That was way back in the 50's and 60's. The cheese and butter came in those gold colored cans that I can't remember the brand. It is called iceberg or something. I also remember my father liked melted cheese on his roti bangali but my mother did not like even the smell of it especially when she was pregnant.

Later in that period of time, the cheese and butter were hard to come by and my grandfather did not make many more trips to the cold storage as the estate he was managing had changed ownership. So, I think after the early 60's we did not eat 'western' anymore. Then there was planta margarine.

When I was studying in London circa 70's I hated having to pass the cheese department of Sainsbury on Holloway road to get to the bus stand on Seven Sisters road. The smell could give me a bad headache. I did like the soft cheese and gouda or edam. Back in Malaysia, I could not find any decent cheese to eat. There was cheddar from Australia that sucks and tasted like fermented rubber, so I quit eating cheese.

When I was in Hawaii in the 80's I found that American cheese are yummy. Found that their cottage cheese is not like those imported from Australia. (probably very old imported stock that are sold in Malaysia).

I like to eat cottage cheese in a variety of ways. When I was in Uzbekistan, I bought cottage cheese by the bucket (that was how it was sold then) from the 'secret farmer' who kept his cows and operation hidden from the authority. I ate it in salad, I ate it with salt and pepper, I ate it with home made preserved fruits etc. because that was the only luxury food i could find then. I bought home churned butter too to eat with pon their kind of bread.

My husband eats his cottage cheese with pineapple chunks sprinkled with salt and black pepper for breakfast. I eat mine with cocktail fruits and nuts. I also eat it with sliced fruits sprinkled with salt and pepper. I have yet to try eat it with shrimps.

Baju Kurung

2008-03-14T10:18:00.000-05:00

On my last visit to Malaya, I met with my best friend from school days. My friend and I sat next to each other in the classroom from Remove Class until Upper Six. Eight long years. The last time I met her when a friend and I did our round the peninsular drive in 1981 before I went to the East-West Center in Honolulu. She was teaching at this small town by the south china sea. She already started a family. She had three cute babies. We did keep up with each other but not met since then. It was during my last visit me met again after 27 years.

Right, we got to sit and talked about the good old days in a boarding school. We recalled that on certain night of the week we had to wear baju kurung for dinner. Baju kurung hijau. During that time there wasn't any ready-made baju kurung to buy and those tailors never heard of readily arranged pleats for the sarong. So most of us who were not originally from the southern part of the peninsular found it very challenging to make the pleats from the sarong and have the sarong tied securely.

During one of the night outings to see a talent time, a singing contest at the Dewan Jubli Intan, my friend and I wore the baju kurung. One of the contestants for the night was Sheikh Abdullah ( better known as Datuk Sheikh now). I think one of the contestants was my classmates. We went to cheer my classmate. We got all excited and clapped and stood and jumped i guess, and I discovered I was standing with my sarong on the floor. What a shock. Luckily all of us were standing and I managed to scoop up my offending sarong and tried my best to fix it the way the northern people wear, like real sarong. At that time I swore I would never wear baju kurung again for outing. I would stick to my green gingham pinafore school uniform.

My new wheels

2008-03-06T08:32:00.000-06:00

We just got this pickup last week. I like it. I feel tall driving it. Have to literally climb into it.

Rombongan

2008-02-29T10:44:00.000-06:00

What is wrong with that word? It used to be alright to use it to mean moving in a group. My mother used to go on a rombongan to Kuala Kangsar in the 60's. I used to go on school rombongan to visit educational places. Nowadays that term has a different connotation. That's what I just realized what a BIG mistake I made. I supposed I could have been forgiven by using that term since I belong to that generation that the word rombongan means something exciting to do with your friends.

I was in transit at Inchon, Seoul recently. We boarded the flight that was heading home to KLIA. Flights on the code sharing, called sky team. I was on Delta from Atlanta (DL), and there were passangers on MH and KE whom actually were sitting on KE aircraft KLIA bound.

I guess I was the only one who originated from Atlanta, GA and terminate at KLIA. When we boarded the aircraft, I could hear a familiar language spoken. Unmistakably, it was my mother tongue that I missed a lot. I was excited to talk to these group of people whom themselves sounded very excited with their trip to Seoul. They were loud and talking about their shopping etc. Some were even talking about making a similar trip to the US namely NYC.

In my excitement meeting this group, I turned around and asked in a very friendly manner "You all ni mai rombongan ka or ikut rombongan?" Then to my utter disbelief, everyone went silent. I did not know what I said that was so wrong. I thought these ladies were rude, they did not answer my question. I thought they did not hear me, I stood up and turned and asked the same question again to give them the benefit of the doubt. Again nobody said anything and I noticed nobody looked at me. Then I was confirmed that orang melayu memang rude.

I only learned later that the term rombongan is only referred to those group travels synonymous with makciks on a bus or coach trip. How out of date I am with my language. I supposed I have offended those ladies making their overseas trip sounded very kampong.

You learn something new everyday, don't you.

Some things just get old

2008-01-30T11:21:00.000-06:00

Probably it is just me. I get tired of the same old things. I used to enjoy checking the website that brings together all Malays living away from home country. it was exciting to sit and chat and share our different experiences in our lives adopting our new environment. It was then a place where we share our sorrows, praying and comforting each other giving and having a shoulder to cry on. We extend our moral support. We encourage each other. We were a bunch of friends or more like sisters and brothers.

Things started to change when a group started to dominate the website and of course there were those bad apples. Those religious chauvinists with holier than thou attitude. There were then the subtle rivalry to control the website. The website began to stink and I no longer visit that place where i used to be so much at home. I missed those friends that I made and there are still some I still keep in touch.

I use to blog hop quite a bit, but recently i realized that i only go to some selected ones. I no longer want to know what people write or do that has no connection to my thinking. I do not deny though that I learned quite a bit about human behavior.

I realized that I must have had a very protected life. I am thankful that while growing up, I did not have to struggle for survival. I did not feel that i was deprived of love from my parents or my family even though most of my teenage years were spent in a boarding school. perhaps I was not looking for anybody to blame for my failure or shortcomings. It is so easy to blame someone else for our short comings or failure than to ourselves.

Many people blame their parents, their governments, their schools or everybody else rather than themselves for their predicaments. Actually it is an individual choice to be what we are. If we chose a cup instead of the coffee then do not blame the cup if the coffee is stale.

When I decide to marry someone out of my league (i.e. not wealthy), many question my choice. I did not feel I need to explain my reasons. However suffice to say I enjoy a most sensational flavored coffee in an old mug.

Seven Career Killers by John McPhee, Forbes.com

2008-01-20T20:47:00.000-06:00

Avoiding these seven deadly sins will also help individuals balance their "whole life" and assure they are ready to take on new workplace challenges as they are presented -- and execute them well.

Deadly Workplace Sins

At least seven "deadly workplace sins" detail key emotional offenses professionals should avoid at all costs to better assure upward career mobility. A few common sense tips will help aspiring pros get on the path to the ever-elusive paycheck promise land.

Pride
First, there's pride. Far too many who experience "workplace wins" take full credit for these achievements, regardless of any support or assistance received in the process. What often goes unrecognized is that people around, and especially below, the serially solo-successful resent the egocentricity, and may actually begin to actively undermine that person's efforts in the future. While one's pride wants all due recognition, a team philosophy can build the grass-roots support that can fast-track a career. Indeed, a dose of acknowledgment of and appreciation for one's peers and subordinates, so they may share in some of the glory, can go a long way to foster one's long-term success.

Envy
Moreover, while it's OK to recognize other individuals or organizations as they achieve, lamenting "what should have been yours" can be destructive and can adversely impact your own ability to focus on the job tasks at hand. Becoming envious of others in the workplace can sabotage your self esteem, which is one vital characteristic of every successful worker or executive. Rather than being envious, let the accomplishments of others become motivational fuel for your fire in working toward your own successes.
Anger
Anger is another motion that needs to be held in check. Begetting nothing but disagreement, dispute, tension or conflict, anger provides no benefit in the workplace. There is simply nothing productive about anger, which impairs one's objectivity, poise and self control. Don't let a bout of righteousness damage your reputation and image in the workplace. It's fine to feel passionately about your job or a project at hand and to disagree with others, but learn how to channel those emotions into actions that will work to your benefit in the eyes of others -- especially your superiors -- rather than against it. Those prone to angry outbursts rarely get promoted; they are seen as being poor leaders who cannot inspire or motivate others.

Short-sightedness
One's selfish desire for "more, sooner" is what motivates many in the Western culture to achieve their career goals. But taking this notion to the extreme can and will be self defeating as core values become misguided and life becomes unbalanced in the process. The road to success requires a long term approach in all aspects of one's job duties. Those laser-focused on quick, short-term gains may do well for the moment, but will be ill-prepared to take things to the next level.
Complacency
At the other end of the spectrum, sloth, or simply put, complacency and laziness have no place whatsoever in the workplace -- especially for those with high aspirations. Expecting one's past achievements and successes to carry them forward in their long-term career is imprudent. Today's uber-competitive global marketplace ensures that only those who continue to grow, evolve and make fresh contributions of value will succeed. In a global environment where outsourcing is becoming a norm, everyone at all levels of the employment "food chain" is now replaceable. So treat every work day and every project as if your job, and your future at large, depends on it. It very well may.
Imbalance
Many individuals move up the corporate ladder so fast that they actually end up failing as a consequence. More isn't always better -- especially if you're not ready for the challenge at hand. It's important to ensure that you are not only professionally ready to take on a new and bigger challenge, for which expectations are equally bigger, but also that your personal life is ready for the new demands and strains to be placed upon it. Achieving career success also includes maintaining a life balance, and a misplaced professional desire can create a backlash both at home as well as amid peers for your perceived obsessiveness.

Lust
At times this can spill over to lust. An overly intense desire for what others have achieved at work, or being chronically dissatisfied with one's own status, is a surefire career killer. Spending an inordinate amount of time fixated on what you don't have rather than what you do will foster a bad attitude and negative overall demeanor.

Above all, one's overall "presence" in the office plays a big part in who gets promoted and who doesn't. No matter how ambitious, it's prudent to be present and make the most out of your current position at this moment in time. Organizations recognize and reward those with a good attitude who make the most of a situation. Winners recognize other's success with sportsmanlike conduct, while at the same time exhibiting an air of confidence that they, and their team, will realize their own great achievements.

My rememberer

2008-01-19T12:58:00.000-06:00

I notice that my forgetter is working overtime now, but my rememberer is working good as well. They are however work best at different time zone.

I forget what i wanted to do 3 minutes ago, but I remember clearly what happen when i was a child. Is this normal?

As i was sitting at some nice comfortable place, I entertained my wondering mind. I remember those days when I was a child. There was this incident so long ago that made me so humble and taught me a very good way to appreciate what I have.

I was at a boarding school, and during term break we got to ride the train for 24 hours to get home for 3 weeks. During those term break i always hang out with my former primary school friends. I would cycle for a few miles just to visit them and they would come and sleep over as well. I don't remember sleeping over too much, but I have friends slept over at my house (grandparents) all the time.

There was one time I was invited to break fast and dinner at one of my close friends house. I was happy to go and i guess my friend was happy to have me as I hardly go eat dinner at peoples' houses very often. I was humbled to see what was on the table for breaking the fast. There was only 2 dishes or was it 3. I remember there were 3 fried fish, a bowl of sayur lemak kangkong and sambal belacan. The rice came and it was cold and it was the leftover. I loved the food, but i realised that there were 7 of us. They wanted me to start, so i did, luckily I could compute that the 3 fried fish were not meant for me to get one for myself. They have to be shared between 7 people.

I went home after that and told my grand mother about how meager the dinner fare was. There was no kueh and sweets for breaking the fast like we had at home and we had to share 3 fish between 7 of us. I think my grand parents were a bit excessive with food on the table especially during the fasting month. We never have leftover rice for dinner, it had to be freshly cooked. We usually have a few dishes on the table to go with the rice. There is normally be a curry (meat or chicken or fish) Fried fish or chicken or beef and vegetables and sambal and acar rampai or acar ikan (ikan masak cuka). There is always the dadih manis or agar-agar for dessert. During the fasting month there would be table full of kueh2. Buah melaka, tepung bungkus, plus the usual desserts and of course there would be pisang mas and tembikai.

My grandmother would outsource the making of these kueh2, she would provide the flour, sugar and coconut to neighbours and in the evening, we would have them for breaking fast. My grandmother would cook all those beef, lamb, mutton, chicken and fish dishes. I love pesamah kambing or lembu. I love kari kepala ikan plotan and isi.

Well, what i was getting at was that in the late 1950's, 60's and 70's, there were a lot of poor households in my village. I never realized that until that dinner at my friend's house. I did not know that i had such a privileged childhood.

My rememberer is broke (broken)

2008-01-17T19:01:00.000-06:00

I got this in an email.

My forgetter's getting better,
But my rememberer is broke
To you that may seem funny
But, to me, that is no joke

For when I'm "here" I'm wondering
If I really should be "there"
And, when I try to think it through,
I haven't got a prayer!

Oft times I walk into a room,
and Say "what am I here for?"
I wrack my brain, but all in vain!
A zero, is my score.

At times I put something away
Where it is safe, but, Gee!
The person it is safest from
Is, generally, me!

When shopping I may see someone,
Say! "Hi" and have a chat,
Then, when the person walks away
I ask myself, "who was that?"

Yes, my forgetter's getting better
While my rememberer is broke,
And it's driving me plumb crazy
And that isn't any joke.

CAN YOU RELATE???

Hijrah-1

2008-01-14T16:00:00.000-06:00

I feel challenged to write my thoughts on hijrah. I feel i need to write about it in relation to everyday life. I am a lazy blogger, but i blog hopped to many. There are blogs that are matured and makes a good reading as well as enlighten my outlook of life. There are blogs that the owners say they write to vent their bottled up frustrations, there are blogs that serve as a life journal to the owners and of course there blogs that are seriously political.

I do read the column di celah-celah kehidupan in Mingguan Malaysia and I feel that those who shared their stories are brave people. They found an avenue to share their unhappiness when there in no one close enough would listen to them. Most of them are women who are mistreated, abused and are left in despair.

Most of the stories are failed marriages. marriages that were built in good faith in the name of Allah. Expectations at the beginning into the marriages were high. The couple that tied the knots were expecting happy ever after.

Women, especially think they can live on love alone. They will marry for love, they stay in a broken marriage for love, they hurt their parents for love. For time in memorial, love does not hold a lot in a marriage. Responsibility, compassions come first in a marriage. Anyway, I almost forget, of course the reasons for getting married itself.

I do wonder if those women did any homework about marriage before they plunged into it. The first thing a person should do is to understand and read about what constitute a marriage, what bind in a marriage. No no no..don't listen to all the uztaz giving the ceramah. Go to the our reference Book. The al-Quran. Go read the surah al-Baqarah. Go to the hadith, but first go to the main source. Understand what marriage is all about. Understand what responsibilities that come with it.

Know the person you want to marry. Know his aspirations, know his bad habits. Know those stuff that would make your marriage gets a hiccup. It does not work when you say you want to marry a religious person, and the guy is so engrossed in his religious thingy that you think would help you. That is a big no no. You have already chosen the wrong guy. You already know that you and family will never be the first in his life. it is himself that is of utmost important to him.
A very selfish person is staring straight into your face.

What is so wrong with relationship is that most women think they can change their spouses character with love and devotion. Get this, that never happens!

For you all the women out there who want a partner in life, use your heads first before plunging into the imagined happy ever after relationship.

I went into marriage with my eyes wide open. I married very late though because it was my choice. I did away with all the cravings that young and impressionable women have first.

Money checked
House checked
Education checked
Car checked
High lifestyle checked
Good job checked
Work fulfillment checked
Travel checked

What i was lacking was a companion to enjoy simple life. The life i would like to share minus his baggage such as debts, emotional and responsibilities other than towards me.

Found one, not rolling in green, but have enough to enjoy the little things together. Simple things that make a day worth counting the blessing.

Hijrah

2008-01-11T12:45:00.000-06:00

Hijrah means different things for different people. To most, it was the year the great prophet pbuh moved from the oppressing society in Makkah to a more receptive populace of Madinah. It was the main turning point for the prophet to preach Islam the religion of submission to the highest authority, the one and only Allah. He brought light and knowledge to the people of Madinah and a good government to a multi ethnics, multi religions and multi culture population of the place. There was freedom for the people.

Hijrah to me means moving on from a stagnant life to a more enlighten way of life. I do not mean in religious pursuant only, I mean in our everyday life. The real life. Allah has given us a mind that is so dynamic that can think and make decisions. Allah has given us the al-Quran to read and follow the good path, the correct one, yet the good brain Allah gives us, we misuse it. We build barriers around us. We short change the goodness in the Quran. We use Allah's words in vain. We use Allha's name in vain.

There is no my way or your way in practicing the religion. There is only one way, Allah's way. It pains me to see all those who called themselves good Muslims, actually are not practicing the religion the way it is supposed to be. There is no compassion in their dakwah, no compassions for their wife and children. They are actually very selfish individuals. They wanted so much to be with God, they forget their wives and children. Their duty in this life.

Just because you finished reading the al-Quran 10 times, doesn't mean you know anything about the content or the knowledge in it. You can tell people that my daughter can memorize surah Yassin at 6 years of age and be so proud of it, but do you realize that a child of that age can hardly comprehend anything. To me it is better that i take the Quran out read it a few sentences and understand the meaning of what i read. It takes us a few months for my husband and me to read the first chapter of the Quran with the translation and the explanation to grasp the meaning of the chapter. We still refer to it when we want clarification. At least the part of marriage, property and responsibility are quite clear to us. For us we just want to understand the basic teaching of the great religion. We leave the finer points to those who are more knowledgeable than us.

Well, to me hijrah is a time for us to look aback at our lives and move forward. Have a freedom to think and not be scared to move on.

Happy holidays

2007-12-25T20:06:00.000-06:00

This year, the gathering was at my place. Ever since my mother in law passed on, it was always at my place. My husband, being the oldest of the three siblings often offers our place as the venue.

Winter wonderland

2007-12-25T19:33:00.000-06:00

Maybe I should begin now

2007-12-20T16:32:00.000-06:00

I think I have enough stuff to begin my project. I have to start at some point don't I?It was something I wanted to do since I quit my job. It is just a simple thing that does not need a real brain.
Before I go and hibernate to do my project, I would like to wish everybody a merry and joyful end of year celebration from us Mr and Mrs Beach.